SCOTUS Rules The Wrong Way Again

So there you have it, religion now gets to make health care decisions. Just one more chipping away at established law to appease the religious right. Just like the picture says - it is INJUSTICE and it's against women, and yes, they act like gods among us; the ones who are playing the part by making incredibly life-altering decisions with women's health care decisions.

With the recent ruling of the five scrotum... er, five old white guys of the SCOTUS, it's outrageous that now the belief system of the religious right, Christianity, seems to trump the belief system all others. What does SCOTUS not seem to understand about the concept of equal protection under the law in our country? I still believe every person has the right to express their beliefs, but seriously, to now be governed by the belief system of one religion? I don't think the justices got it right this time.

This fight being waged against women by Hobby Lobby, along with 100 other companies, and receiving the blessing of the Supreme Court Justices, shows us that they don't give a shit about religious freedom. They want their belief system to dominate this country. Don't you know by now that Christianists have all the answers and should make all the rules? Because of course - they have that book that tells them so. Argh...

These past three days my blood pressure has been elevated when I think how much we are still fighting about, and what we are losing by the decisions being made in this country with respect to women and their rights. Today's woman and the future generations of women have to struggle even more now to regain what should have been guaranteed during all our lifetimes; equality, that which has eluded us for too long.

The only positive I see coming from this ruling is that women (and men) will be more united to stand against those who would continue to undermine the rights of women, and bring with it a conscious shift leading to more thoughtful and reasonable legislation. We've always had activists who fought the good fight and brought us farther than those before them, but this current level of anger, agitation, and passion created in the minds and hearts of much of our citizenry after the ruling... well, it is palpable. Social media is exploding - both sides of the issue - but it would seem the motivation for more progressive change has the stronger voice. The justices have managed to set in motion something I hadn't seen in a long time, and for that I'm glad. Who knew that Hobby Lobby would be the straw that finally broke the camel's back!

Two things are at stake here - the equality of women and complete separation of church and state. My hope is that these issues will finally be resolved in my lifetime.

This is only the beginning of one hell of a fight. Buckle in, it might get worse before it gets better. But let us not be mistaken, this is a fight we must have and finish. It speaks to the core of what is wrong in our country and across the world where women are being oppressed, mistreated and/or marginalized for their sex. And religion is at the heart of it. It is what propagates the discrimination and the oppression that exists in this world. 

And it needs to stop... NOW!

Reworking the 12 Steps

MTSofan

THE TWELVE STEPS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Version 2.27.14 - My take on it

1. We admitted we were powerless  our physical/psychological addiction over alcohol that our lives had become and how it made our lives unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves understand those addictions and empowered ourselves with coping tools that could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.  'enough is enough' and with the help of trained medical help, will beat this addiction.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Acknowledged who I am (good and bad) and what I've done (good and bad).

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove change all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove Worked diligently on our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer deep reflection and/or meditation to improve our conscious contact with God ourselves and our motivations, as we understanding Him how we got here, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and tapping into our own personal the power, along with the help of a support system, to carry that out what was necessary to live in a civilized society with others.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening experienced devastating consequences of our actions, taking responsibility, exercising deep thought and insight as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

The original words without the strike-through - Copyright A.A. World Services, Inc.

I'm an average human with flaws, but also good character traits. Made good decisions and bad over my lifetime. It's probably correct to say that I have addictive tendencies, but they have not impacted my life in a devastating fashion to date. Regardless, my past included involvement with another 12 Step Program. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It was brief but gave rise to rethinking this whole approach. Primarily because of the AA model incorporating the same traditional approach that religion uses to save souls.

In my opinion, AA is parading like a wolf in sheep's clothing. The main objective for the alcoholic is to get sober, but the running of this program smacks of being back in church. It seems more about bringing wretched people to a god who pulls all the strings rather than solving the initial problem of addiction. Look how many of these steps revolve around the deity! Only 3 out of the 12 Steps actually talk about what to do to help with their recovery. They put up this whole smoke screen of curing/managing their addiction, but a god is the only one in charge apparently.

In addition, the 12 Steps seem to be giving them yet another crutch to use rather than empowering them to stand up for themselves. And obviously it works for some people (something always does - different strokes for different folks), but the conflicting success rates don't show that it is making a dent in the problem of alcohol addiction.

Personally, I think when an addict has crossed a certain threshold and decided for himself/herself that enough is enough, interjecting a god into this process is saying that a person can't do it alone. I call bullshit on AA for letting a person struggling with addictions feel as if they are powerless. How is them saying that give them the courage necessary to face the internal struggles? Especially when realistically they only have themselves to achieve anything. Oh right, I forgot, if they only give it up to God. It just seems like an obvious set up for defeat when it is highly likely they will lapse again.

So if or when the alcoholic does goes back to his old habits does God get the blame? NO! It's the schlub who falls off the wagon who just can't get his act together! The fall back will be 'he/she wasn't entirely ready' to give it all over to God. Does the program and their leaders even begin to understand physical addiction during this whole process?

If addicts were truly powerless, how did those who finally made a decision to stop drinking and then manage to maintain sobriety actually do it? They may 'chant' they believe in the 12 Steps, but it is taking their own determination and willpower to actually succeed. Way to go AA for not giving them the credit for taking the first step towards their own sobriety!

Like I said, I'm an average person with some flaws, I'm not an expert in the field of addictions. But I am against yet another process that would enslave someone to thinking they require a god to live a decent life. That's just bullshit.

If you are struggling with addiction and are searching for a program that doesn't involve handing your life over to a god, check out S.O.S. It's been in existence since 1985 and continues to offer an alternative to the 12 Step Program of AA.

I hope you find the strength you need to get through the process of recovery. May your support system be strong and the resolve for your sobriety be even stronger. You and your success in overcoming your addictions are a testament of your own strength. I wish you all the best.

I'm Not A Car, But Insure Me Anyway

You've heard the line "Obamacare is being rammed down our throats! You can't mandate insurance on health care!" along with the follow up statement "You can only do that if you own a car or a house because it's optional! You choose to own either then you have to get insurance!" Applying their logic about cars and houses to humans would infer that we indeed can mandate insurance because our bodies are owned by us and we have no other option but to be here if we choose to be sticking around on this planet. Common sense would tell me their argument just went flat.

We are required by law to have insurance on a home or a vehicle should we choose to own either of them. Meaning we are responsible for any event that would potentially destroy those things or somehow affect them in a way should they no longer function properly. Insurance, any insurance, is designed that way. So why wouldn't it make sense to see that all people are insured? Isn't that the responsible thing to do, especially when we feel that insuring our houses or cars is the right thing to do?!?!? How many times have I heard someone complain about an uninsured motorist after a horrific auto accident when their insurance had to foot the bill, but yet the Affordable Care Act... its intention is bad. SMH

Being sick and not being able to take care of being able to function properly, in other words be healthy again, is exactly what insurance was designed to correct! If people have insurance they take care of themselves because they can afford to go to the doctor much easier than if they don't have insurance. Being healthier means less cost. It's not that hard to figure that one out. The burden on taxpayers is higher when sick people wait till they have no other option but to go to the emergency room and then can't pay their bills afterwards. But the financial impact, that's another discussion.

Back to my original point... Does anyone else own me? No. This is what the Constitution has protected: my individual freedom which comes from my consciousness inside my human form. It actively seeks my right to my pursuit of happiness and liberty in this country. Along with that I bear a personal responsibility to making sure the impact I have on this planet, financial or otherwise,would be as minimal to my fellow man as possible. Isn't that part of what accountability is about? Doing the right thing for oneself while doing right by others?

When we all debate this question about whether having mandated insurance is appropriate or not, I wish we would take this into consideration. It seems that many are. Those are the ones in support of the legislation. But I would ask those who are in opposition of mandated health care... How can we not be thinking this through and supporting it? It's just illogical and frankly inhumane on some levels.

♥ Day

It's the one year anniversary of my heart cath that led to three stents positioned within it, all thanks to my faulty DNA. I really hadn't planned on remembering this life-altering event nor writing about it today. Had it not been for a certain set of individuals called my family, I would have just glossed over this day. After experiencing some pretty strong emotions at the sight of flowers, my heart picture and the words in my card, not writing it all down was not an option. There goes all the other stuff I wanted to focus on today, oh well.

I awoke this morning feeling like I do most days, a state somewhere between refreshed from a night's slumber and not quite ready to be awake yet. But I brushed aside the desire to stay in bed a bit longer, I forced my legs over the edge and out of the bed I went.

Turning the corner into the kitchen, I was greeted with a bouquet of flowers along with a card and this lovely printed heart from my three men. I opened the card and immediately welled up. It was thoughtful, it was sweet and it tugged at my faulty heart. Obviously this day a year ago was pretty traumatic, I just never expected that my family would want to revisit it. But I guess celebrating the fact that I've made it for one year longer... well, that's worth acknowledging. 

Now that I've had my attention focused on the day that was literally life-changing, it brings up so many different emotions and thoughts. For starters, I'd like to forget that it occurred, but I'm thankful I made it through the procedure to be here longer. So glad that worse things, like a heart attack didn't happen before we found out how detrimental the state of my heart actually was during the procedure. Feeling loved and appreciated by my men that they took the time to share their feelings for me in the card. Oh, so loved... that's the part that made me cry. You think you know they love you, but it's those unexpected moments in time when declarations made solidify the connection you have to them.

I'm also angry. Because of what happened last year, I had to change my life in so many ways to ensure that my pre-heart attack state remained that way. Between forced daily exercise and medication, I could literally scream. People who know me, know that I despise working out. They know I like to stay active, but I'm not a big fan of having to schedule in physical activity, especially when there are so many better things to do. Plus the medication has done things to my body that I'm not too happy about. My skin is different. I have rough patches, eruptions I'm not used to and exposure to the sun (which I adore being in) has to be limited. I have a sunburn from June 2nd that has yet to completely fade and it's September! What the hell is up with that? Not to mention, you touch me in the slightest and I've got a bruise. I'm not sure, but I think I've also gotten klutzier, too. But that could be age, not medication.

There was a possibility that I could have died a year ago. I'm sure that it was a rather slim chance being in the terrifically capable hands of my doctor, but nonetheless, it was a possibility. Nobody could predict how things would go during the procedure nor exactly what they would find. So, I made important decisions, got pertinent papers pulled together and said some good-byes, just in case. Coming out of it the next day with a feeling of "I've kicked life in it's ass and I'm ready to go!" propelled me straight into doing all the right things. I showed life who was boss. Twenty pounds lost later, my blood pressure is down, the blood levels are where they should be and I had my strength and energy back again. It's all good news now and my goal is just to continue to feel better. If I can help it that is and hopefully my DNA doesn't throw me out another curve ball.

Having a year pass to reflect back on that day, all in all things turned out better than expected. Physically, I'm in much better shape. Mentally, I have a more defined clarity about my life than I did previously and emotionally, well... that's the supremely excellent part. There have been other emotionally charged events since that day and yet I feel like not handling them, falling apart is so not an option at this stage. If I can survive the possibility of death, then damn... I can handle anything. I may not like it, but I can survive it. The second bit about feeling more emotionally grounded is the fact that I know what is my shit to deal with now and what I have to let others handle.

The other bonus of these types of events is the closeness you feel to your family and friends. It makes you weed out those who add no value and eliminate those unhealthy life energy sucking relationships from your circle. Who's got time to participate in a life if it's being cluttered with unnecessary drainage of your happiness? I don't. My goal is to have my joy meter stay on the high side as much as possible for the remainder of my short life.

This morning I woke up like any other day. The bonus is I'm breathing... still. In addition, I got to cry happy tears about deep, special connections and say thank you to the universe for my ability to hang on just a little while longer with them.

It's a good day, after all.

Wasichu

It's the Sioux word for the white man "one who has everything good".  This is the watered down and more palatable version of what it originally meant. Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong provided me with this insight, but where it took me ultimately was altogether different. It's fascinating to learn new things, but I'm always amazed where my mind will go with what I've learned or how it decides to process. When the subject matter is one thing and your brain decides to veer off into your emotions, I ask myself  -  Why?

Considering all the crap I've dealt with this last year, I'm still completely amazed that I feel rather OK. There's a strength there which I can't completely understand where it comes from, but I just feel like I'm one who has everything good. That's probably why it resonated and I ingested it differently than what was the intention of the author. That or I'm going to redefine what Wasichu means again; evolving it to a whole new level. Progress; something good out of something bad.

Regardless of the circumstances, whether angry, frustrated, happy, sad, chill... whatever... I feel like everything IS good. It's as if it should be because it can't be anything else. The focus on reality is what grounds me and gives me the feeling of stability. I've always felt having a close personal relationship with reality, like my cover on my Facebook page boldly and proudly proclaims, is part of the reason for being skeptical, an atheist and one who is always searching for the truth.

I don't know it for a fact, but I think this connection to reality is what gives me this peace. Maybe it's just age and life experience. Or meds. Interestingly, I found out one of the heart medications I'm on helps with relieving anxiety. Could be I'm just fooling myself about my deep thought process and the chemical cocktail I'm forced to take because of a faulty pump is giving me what I never had in my younger years! Nah, just kidding - hard work, deep insight and a really interesting ride is what put me here.

The older I get, the more I drop off those things keeping me away from reality. I examine everything in my life and get to the bottom of why I think the way I do and if it doesn't cut muster, it's gone. One less ill-conceived, unrealistic reason for clinging to a fallacy opens a whole new way of understanding and clarity. Accepting the experience, good or bad, for what it is even as emotions are evoked by those events; the reality of each situation continually centering me. I feel them, I express them and then I ultimately accept the reality of the given situation. My strength comes from my clarity and what to do next. And from this acceptance comes an over all sense of being wrapped in good.

Here's to feeling that way until the day I die. Maybe I should get the word Wasichu tattooed on my body. Then it'll be permanent. Yeah.

Screaming...

• Matches the intensity of physical pain with a deep guttural response. When the hurt is so too much to contain, the excruciating waves feel like they have to come out of my body. Screaming eases it by taking the edge off; the damage caused to the inside feels lessened.

• Exorcises the rage when I'm mad. If I don't, my insides will explode.

• Is a must when I'm exposed to the stupidity of people on the TV/the computer/in my car. 

• Happens mostly when I'm hiding from the world. They can't know my pain yet.

• Stops the brutality I see inflicted on others. I've been lucky not to witness much personally.

• Keeps me from inflicting brutality when I'm exposed to stupidity, in any form. That seems to happen more often lately.

• Is a release. It's only temporary though.

So... I really want to stop screaming.

Dear Life, You Can Stop Sucking Now

How do you make the decisions necessary to keep moving forward after you've gotten to a precarious emotional state, a place of indifference or a feeling of nothing but contempt? That internal space where you could have never imagined yourself feeling like that ever, before? A completely shocking, incomprehensible event that sets you over the edge, yeah... that seems about right. It shakes you, makes you question reality, turns your world upside down. Trust is shattered, nerves are frayed, your insides feel like they are bleeding out and you're sure that everyone knows. But they don't, if you don't tell them. 

The negative feelings can be camouflaged, very easily. People can't see not caring anymore, they can't fathom the distance you've created or understand the hole of emptiness you are trying to rise above from. We can be adept at hiding for many reasons, PDE is just not appropriate or so we were taught. But people around us, many times even those closest, don't or can't tune into that frequency of despair. They're busy with their own lives, their own problems and sometimes, they just don't give a shit anyway.

Hiding is sometimes just what we need to do until we're ready to take the next step. It gives us time to think and time to grieve for what no longer exists. And an opportunity to gather strength when the decisions needing to be made meet the opportunity to put them in play. It's not indecision or hesitation, sometimes it's just that timing is crucial. Involving those closest to us can actually hinder what needs to happen next.

Being a public emotional mess is especially something you don't need in order to move forward. I've experienced it many times with past crises' where the friends really do no better than just keeping you stuck in the scenario that is creating the drama. Often times they don't even know how to just be there for you; they would rather play a prime role in the destruction continuing. No thanks, I'll do it my way.

Once decisions are made and realities refocus to a new stability, friends will feign astonishment at your lack of involving them. And probably act all butt-hurt, too. How dare you not include them in your misery! Sometimes, I vacillate between wishing I could share more than I do, but then I realize there really aren't all too many people I would let in on my innermost feelings. I don't trust a whole lot of people, for one, but dealing with gobs of drama is something I usually tend to shy away from to begin with.

Rationally, taking a step back, observing my fellow humans and just getting older has taught me so much. But even more valuable lessons were learned when I let the shit drag me down so emotionally that I think to myself "How will I ever get back up again?" Feeling it surround me as if the thick ooze of mess is my new home, letting me succumb so to speak. I'm not advocating that we always give in to our deep, dark  emotions. Depending on your stability, it can have disastrous outcomes. In my case, it was precisely because of those situations and mucking down, the decisions that came out of the process brought me into a much sweeter place.

I've come to appreciate my mind and my abilities in the realm of handling emotional situations. During the dark moments where it felt like emotions were all I had, my mind still wouldn't let me go to that place where you don't recover from. These situations forced me to face things that I might not have. Decisions came about because I had no other choice, but to make them. I find I have a much keener sense of how to deal with emotional situations because of those times. As they will continue to present themselves, the emotional dis-ease will still affect me, the agonies will still occur. Life/Nature will do it's best to contribute those potential situations of unexpected upheavals.

Feelings for which you have no control over can just wash over you unexpectedly, but at least I can say that my ability to look at those feelings rationally as well as the situation that created them, guides me into a much better place than say when I was in my early 20s. Yes, getting older helps, but you can't mature unless you go through some shit, right? But enough already, I'm good.

***The day after I published this piece, a FB friend had this on her page. Thanks Amy! Summed it up nicely... Enjoy!

Resurgence                                                                       

Never underestimate a woman who is suffering
who seems to be making risky choices.
She is deep in lesson.
She is visiting the underground,
she is making sense of life in some invisible way
the fragmentation in her life could be a precursor
to a new resurgence.
She could well stun you with some home truths.

~ Sukhvinder Sircar

photo artist unknown
found on tumblr HANDCRAFTEDINVIRGINIA

No Holding Back Allowed

It would seem that it was a conscious choice for me to go down that road of conformity as so many people do, but when I look back on my twenties it doesn't feel like it was done with my approval. The lessons learned during my upbringing and my duplicating them seem to be more important than forging the kind of life that I wanted for myself. This is how my life started to play out as I began the business of becoming an adult.

I was loud, strong and opinionated during my early childhood; specifically so during my teenage years. It seemed I was always in the face of figures of authority; questioning, defying and generally not accepting things 'just because' they said so. I rebelled and commandeered attention to my positions held because it was the right thing to do.... then.

When I approached my mid-thirties and reflected back on my years, it became evident that I had sacrificed the me who was so strong early on. I abdicated my choice in determining how to move forward when I started deceiving myself about who I was. Asking the question ‘When did I start lying to myself?’ didn’t help me to make any course corrections either. I gave in simply to 'fit in', took the path of least resistance or, many times, just reacted to life rather than determining what was best for me. I got a job, worked all week to party all weekend long, paid my bills, had failed relationships, got married, got divorced, bought a house, remarried and settled into a good but uneventful life with my husband and children. It was a good life and safe.

I frequently ask myself now, approaching my fifties, what made me conform in my early twenties and when did the lying to myself override my natural urge to throttle the establishment?  And that which was once so strong inside me, why couldn’t it find the strength to break free and let loose what so obviously was being held back? The only answer I keep coming back to is that the influence that was around me at the time seemed to deserve more attention from me, or warranted more credit than my very own input.

The insecurities borne in dysfunction only added to hold me back from a path of my own construction and gave me permission to let myself down. Me lying to myself made the choices more comfortable and made it easier to digest the unacknowledged dissatisfaction that was ever present. In looking back, I realized there were so many situations where the outcomes could easily have been predicted by my lack of involvement in the process, but I let it happen anyway.

The one decision I would remedy, if I could change anything from my past, is that instant when I semi-consciously allowed myself to depart from a state of feeling fully engaged with who I was to that state of being where I really became more of a bystander and follower. Before I resigned myself to that ‘traditional’ life I was proud of what I put out into the world. Sadly, and obviously, not enough though. It felt as if I had shifted from a place of strength to one of conforming to the examples around me. It seemed as if it wasn't me directing my life anymore, or me being the main contributor in who I wanted to be. It was a feeling of going with the flow rather than rocking the boat that seemed to be more important at the time. My life didn't turn out bad; it just wasn’t all that extraordinary either. In other words, it was the 'standard' life, far from what I had imagined for myself when I was much younger. And again, not that it was bad, but the emotion that this self-deception of the past evokes in me now, helps me to understand where it originally went off track.

As I reflect back now, I know that who I am today is a person I can still be proud of, and that where I reside intellectually is still an amazing place regardless of what I did not do in my life. Luckily, the lessons I learned over the years have shaped me well, and I am grateful for who I am now.

Today, I challenge myself as well as others to always push the boundaries of what they accept for themselves. The benefits I reap from challenging myself are enormous. The likeability factor alone that I feel I’ve achieved is huge! And I’m not referring to others thinking I’m more likeable, I’m talking about the fact that I like me more now than during the time where me didn’t seem to have much say about anything!

I think my friends benefit from this rediscovered frame of mind because it makes me a ‘catalyst for good’, theirs and mine. When the experience I bring to the table of our relationships pushes the people I care about to live their lives in a more productive fashion, it’s a win-win situation. Their gains, while propelling themselves forward, forging through obstacles or just remaining true to their personality and character; oh, what rich lives they will lead! It is worth it for me to personally be a witness to it. But more importantly, to see them experience what helps them remain in total control of themselves… priceless.

And yet, there is still a part of me deep inside that regrets pushing down the possibility of who I could have been when I didn't hold firm to the notion that who I was at that time in my early twenties was good enough and deserved to just BE. Still there is regret.

The regret comes from a place of "What if?" meaning that it probably shouldn't be explored because we all know that we can never really satisfactorily answer that question. If we are to deal in reality, then how my life turned out is exactly as it should be because of the choices and decisions I made, whether consciously or by drifting on automatic. Playing devil's advocate, envisioning that it could have been any different is what makes the feelings of regret so strong but also incredibly irrelevant. I can't go back and change anything now!

The subduing of my person-hood that began so long ago and what lasted for so many years has left me with the current feeling of “Man, I've really got some catching up to do!” I need to propel myself into taking the chances I had been so reluctant to take before and live my life exactly the way I want to now. Precious time was lost! I feel so empowered with my eyes wide open and brain fully engaged in the process of the life still ahead of me. So, maybe it's a good thing after all, this regret.

I think they might call that ‘The cycle of life’…

God is Like My Mother

Many are thankful to have had a loving mother as a guide, teaching and nurturing them before they set out into their own lives. Frequently mothers will continue to present themselves as being a source of love that can be relied on to provide something those seeking it cannot provide for themselves. The title of mother and the women aptly named as such, are generally representative of being loving people. Not in all cases, but generally most beings would consider them loving and trustworthy. If someone is raised in a home where love and respect is continually shown through words and deeds, then the recipients of that love and respect know they can trust the source.

I can't say that I have that type of a relationship with my own mother. Thankfully, I do have many relationships that would prove to me what being loving and trustworthy are all about. They taught me what it means to have those qualities and gave me the opportunity to teach my children what it means to be there for them and others. To me, love means knowing you can count on someone to do as they say they will do and trust is established when you can repeatedly expect that to happen.

What creates the most stress in my relationship with my mother is that she frequently says one thing and then proceeds to act entirely different. I have a huge trust issue with her due to that fact. This past Easter got me thinking about the trust that followers have in their spiritual buddy. Easter Sunday is the holiest of celebrated days for believers; the torture, death and resurrection of their lord and savior is revered specifically for what he went through for them. And the followers love and thank him for his sacrifice for them.

The actions that allegedly played out for jesus that fateful day do not evoke emotions for me that scream an allegiance to god, rather they make me question the sincerity of the words that god claims he is a loving god. These events bring me back to the days of things that occurred in my childhood involving my mother. The events that made me realize that loving someone and treating them poorly do not equal a loving relationship.

How are the religious folks even remotely okay with jesus getting the bejeezzus flagellated out of him when their supposed 'loving' god is the actual reason for the poor carpenter getting sacrificed in the first place? Remember now, this is god's plan to give them an out for being such bad sinning human beings. Faithful followers everywhere are okay with the thought "Yes, let me allow my son to be tortured unrelentingly and made to hang crucifixion style, agonizingly, for however long until his death because I love you and want you to be with me. Through him all is possible."

This incident, specifically, and one example after another shown to us in the bible depicts an incredibly different god; one who does such horrific things and then supposedly does them ONLY 'because' of that love he has for human beings. Huh? Why are red flags not going off in EVERY religious mind in the face of that hypocrisy? Can it be shown anymore perfectly that this is non-trust provoking behavior! All the events that led up to Easter being the high holiest of days is the perfect example of someone who can't be trusted to do what he proclaims!

I repeatedly question why followers aren't asking themselves how their heavenly 'father' chooses to actively promote this action of letting his son die on the cross if he is really such a loving god. Not to mention allowing his son to go through the alleged torture prior to being nailed and displayed on said cross. Doesn't that for even one hot minute strike a chord in believers that this goes against what 'being loving' means? Would they, considering themselves to be loving people, ALLOW these types of events to occur to their own children?

Alarms should be going off! All buttons actively firing, flashing and ringing out with the message that these are not actions of a loving and reasonable god. Actually, quite the opposite! How can the claim be made that 'our god is an awesome god and our god is a loving god'? It's simply not true.

Close, loving and personally satisfying relationships are based on a mutual trust and respect for one another. Loving relationships can be counted on to provide messages of endearment that are supported by deeds showing the other person consistently 'they've got your back' and won't let you down. Loving relationships build a foundation of trust that is continuously reinforced through loving acts. That bond and the trust gets stronger when the truth that is shown us is a love that can be seen and heard consistently and without fail.

When actions speak a different language than what is originally heard, questions should immediately be raised and doubts interjected into the previously held thought process. My relationship with my mother, after many years of hearing one thing and seeing another, helped me to understand that I wasn't dealing with someone who was loving. I was in a relationship with someone who 'thought' she was but didn't have the first clue about what it meant be that person. Many of her actions in fact were opposite of what demonstrated love. Being a reasonable person showed me how to question and then intelligently remove myself from that destructive relationship.

Using reason saves you, not believing a fictitious man in the sky.... especially one who lies.

I Willingly Die Every Night...

Death is scary to many people, religious or not, and I've always wondered... why? Outside of having to experience an excruciatingly, long-drawn-out sort of tragic accident or disease while on your way towards death, how is the actual part about being dead scary?

After reading a piece about how an atheist might view death, it gave me more to think about. I'd have to agree with many points the author made in his article, and I honed in on the "UNconsciousness" part that he referred to because that is what has always made it "UNterrifying" to me. His opinion is that this part, specifically, would be disquieting to an individual. This may be true for many, but definitely not true for me.

Each night we all willingly close our eyes to enter the rejuvenating darkness that envelops us. It heals our minds and bodies from the stress we endured to better face the following day. The fact that every one of us can willingly do so tells me that people can accept and do not fear being unconscious because of an understanding of what sleep actually is. Continuing to wake up every morning and many mornings for many years confirms their understanding that sleeping is just a natural function.

So, how can those people who understand sleeping be terrified of the experience of being dead when they understand the concept of black oblivion or discontinuity? Why would they be disquieted and even terrified when death seems to be just like what is willingly wished for when they lay down their heads at night?

Rationally spoken death itself is not worth being terrified about, but what does create the fear is what it means beyond the physical experience (or actually, the lack of experience). Those who are fearful of being dead can't accept that it is nothing more than eternal "UNconsciousness".

In today's society, particularly in the communities of faith, their understanding of death does not focus on what it actually is but, rather, takes on the mystical quality of what it means for an after-life. The biblical interpretations and explanations received during their indoctrination make it hard for people to take a position of acceptance about death being a natural event in their lives. The woefully lacking realistic explanation surrounding death only helps to induce the irrational fears we are talking about. Gnashing of teeth, fire, and brimstone for eternity is what they can expect if they were not good in the eyes of their lord, and eternal bliss and happiness if they fulfilled all of god's expectations. It's perfectly natural to expect they would be fearful rather than accepting that it will be a non-event when they are given this limited explanation of death as only being a possibility of not knowing where they are going come judgment day.

As I said earlier, I can understand perfectly that people are fearful if their death doesn't come swiftly and painlessly or the time preceding it is filled with suffering, but to be fearful 'of death' seems irrational considering the knowledge we have today.

Our impending deaths should make us want to experience life more fully knowing that it really is just the end of being who we know we are, just like when we are sleeping and in the physical state known as "UNconsciousness". Life should be a time devoid of angst and rich with experience. Seems to me that the best thing would be to ignore death until it makes its entrance and pledge to experience life to its fullest, making the pursuit of happiness the optimal goal!

Also published at AtheismResource.com

"Sex and God" Book Raffle

 

We are celebrating the upcoming

National Sex Day!

Won't you join us on June 9th?

Entries for the raffle will be accepted for Darrel Ray's "Sex and God" Book starting today and will end June 6, 2012 at 9PM EST. The live drawing will be held June 9, 2012 at 9PM EST.

Prizes will be as follows: 

• 1st Place:   A signed copy of Darrel Ray's "Sex and God" Book
                    #11 in the 15 copies held back from the first printing   
• 2nd - 5th Place:   Your choice of one of four different Tezzles

The cost for the entries will be:

•  $1 for 1 Chance
•  $5 for 6 Chances
• $10 for 15 Chances   

Winners will be drawn and broadcast live via Ustream at 9PM EST on June 9, 2012. Details to be announced as it gets closer. The entries will be determined from the donations made to WePay.com account and/or to the Paypal account, printed out and shuffled in a bucket prior to the drawing for all prizes.

It is the responsibility of all entering to provide proper contact information. Winners will be contacted by myself and have 72 hours to respond. If no response is received, a new winner will be drawn and the process repeated until all prizes are claimed (we will only do the live drawing once. In the event of no response from the winners, the subsequent drawings will be done off camera). Redrawn winners will be notified by phone and email.

Winners MUST BE Members of the National Atheist Party having filled out the NAP "Roll Call" and members of their respective State's Chapter. All winners must be at least 18 years of age or older with valid ID.

All NAP members having filled out the "Roll Call" (EXCEPT Executive Board Members) are eligible.

IMPORTANT! We prefer you use the WePay.com donate button, but if you donate through Paypal, PLEASE specify your donation is for the "Sex and God" Book Raffle in the "notes" in order to make sure to be entered!!!

Thank you all very much! Enter often, GOOD LUCK to you and have a SEXY day! :)

Susi Bocks
Executive Assistant to the President/Fundraising Committee Member
National Atheist Party

It's Our Day!

 
It's the anniversary of being wedded to the man who has made my heart go pitter-patter for so many years. I really do love April! All our great first experiences happened during this month - we met, had our first date, awesome sex and then lastly, we got married on this day in April! Sixteen years married and seventeen years together. Amazing! Woo hoo!

My affection for this man has not waned and it's awesome to have a private platform to show him some love publicly. The message is the same every time... I love him, I adore him, and I'm so glad to have this man in my life. :) It's been a wild ride at times, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. Like his shirt says - Life is good! But it's even better because he's in it!

To Hitch

  

Seeing just a sampling of those Hitch has inspired in his lifetime and being a witness to his public struggles with this disease makes me ache with compassion for him. Death, although escaping it not being an option, the shock of knowing it will happen to someone who has influenced so many, still touches a place deep within and brings forth tears that flow freely with that thought.

Here's my 'Raise Your Glass' homage to Hitch...

It is inevitable that we must all die and I can accept that. Yours may come sooner than you certainly have thought and something, I hadn’t expected to happen for a long time. Here’s hoping that it is later rather than sooner and that your suffering will not be more than you have already had to endure.

I’m sure that I will not be saying anything new or something you haven’t heard before but, before you go, I wanted you to know how deeply your thoughts have touched me and how well you articulated the words that have inspired me. Reading them in your books, hearing them in your speeches, debates and interviews connected to my own thoughts on a very deep level. These things have helped me to remain firm in my resolve to openly speak out with confidence and passion, as I have been witness to seeing you do many times. Being on the receiving end of all you have shared has been a positive experience for me and for that I thank you. You have had a powerful influence on my life and helped to guide it with great honesty.

Even when you are no longer with us, you will continue to help shape the minds of those who will, in turn, give voice to the next in line. For that, I thank you, too.

I’m not part of your inner circle, I know, but I hope these words can still convey the depth of my compassion and gratitude I have always had and that it can give some comfort during this more than crappy time in your life.

As always, my wish and hope for you is that the end to your life will be a far away event, but if that is not to be, then I just wanted to let you know just how immensely impactful you have been to me.

Thank you for being you and sharing the best of you with me, with us.

To you, Hitch. Take care, much love... always.

DO NOT DONATE TO AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY!!

Gotta love Facebook to spread the injustice around pretty quickly. After having read Greta Christina's take on the American Cancer Society's big charity foo pah, it moved me to add my own two cents.

Greta's piece clearly states that The American Cancer Society did not openly come out and say that they were rejecting the money because it came from the atheist organization, Foundation Beyond Belief. However, in doing so it goes against what should be a charity organization's function. The American Cancer Society is in the business of adding to their coffers in order to bankroll research, so it seems terribly odd that they wouldn't take it. And really, what other reason than differing ideology is there? My guess is they knew exactly how wrong it would be to openly take a stand on what they thought about an atheist organization. Coming out honestly on the subject would have really left a bad taste in the mouths of those who would then take their donations elsewhere. Hem and haw and doing the dance of avoiding coming clean... yeah, much better plan.

Well, now it's out and surprise, surprise... it's leaving a bad taste in the mouths of those who previously donated and predictably, it casts a doubt on future donations. People are going to choose other ways to donate their money because discrimination doesn't sit well with them. If you are one of those, please... Let me help you with that.

Charity Navigator 

America's premiere independent charity evaluator, works to advance a more efficient and responsive philanthropic marketplace by evaluating the Financial Health and Accountability and Transparency of America's largest charities. 

 

The American Cancer Society doesn't fare too badly when it comes to how they run the organization, BUT let me point out a few things.

In comparing the other organizations that deal with financing research for cancer, the ACS scores the LOWEST!  And take a look at what a CEO at ACS makes. Do you think that's a bit out of line considering this is supposed to be a charitable organization? You know, one that is compassionate to a cause? I thought caring equated with doing everything that you could for that cause, maybe including not withholding valuable research dollars in order to pay a guy's salary?!?! I'd say that's taking too big of a cut, MR. CEO!

Many have already voiced their displeasure on the American Cancer Society's Facebook page and have publicly said they would take their donation dollars elsewhere. Please stand with those people and do the same. Go check out the other organizations below and find one that is right for you. Charity should be about giving freely, without hesitation and with love and compassion as the core reason for doing so. Not accepting charity because of someone's ideology is smacking that love and compassion in the face.

Do not turn the other cheek. Please.

Charity Name	Overall Score	Overall Rating
American Cancer Society - GA	53.85
National Comprehensive Cancer Network - PA	60.67
National Cancer Coalition - NC	64.13
CancerCare - NY	60.55
The V Foundation - NC	64.25

 

Leadership      (FYE 08/2009)

Name	Title	Compensation
John Seffrin	CEO	$914,906

Other Salaries of Note
William Barram	National VP of Divisional Services, Retired	$1,550,705
Donald Thomas	Deputy CEO, Retired	$1,407,719

Choose Reality

We've all heard stories where some freak accident occurred and a person either drowned, got electrocuted, stabbed or shot and miraculously made it through the harrowing ordeal only to have everyone close to the situation praise god for it. As if he had anything, at all, to do with it.

Now the last time I checked, the definition of a miracle is that it can only come about by divine intervention, meaning that it was a really detrimental situation before and then poof! divinity intervened and voila! you have a complete restoration to your original state of health. You know, like in the movies when vampires can get hurt, but they heal right back up again. If that happened before my very own eyes, I would have to call it a miracle, but this is not something that we see occurring.

Typically, the things we see reported in the daily news always have some type of medical intervention taking place shortly after the tragic accident. I would contend that the intervention is what contributes to their eventual healing and sadly, it's not getting the richly deserved credit. At times, when I have pointed this out the usual comeback is - 'well, it was god who put those doctors in his/her path to heal the people.' Naturally, it was in god's plan, all along.

The other thing I've never understood, what is the reason why believers thank god when someone gets better. They must truly think he did something or do they thank him because it was cool that god's will was their will or do they thank him for keeping the injured person alive? I'd like to understand that because why would anybody want to thank him for actually saving the person when, in reality, them dying seems a much more logical idea based on their belief system.

If you are a believer and heaven is so grand, wouldn't it be better to be up there with daddy than down on earth with all the sinners (fake christians, non-believers and evil people)? Why wouldn't they want that for their loved ones? Isn't it a better life for them up in heaven? Seems to me the reason they are glad that they think god has intervened is because they are selfish. They want them here for themselves.

The reason for being selfish is obvious. Who wants their day to day reality to change and no longer have their loved ones by their side helping to create the memories that sustain them at times. If they died, people would be very sad, possibly for a very long time because it's really hard to let go of the ones you love if you haven't accepted the finality of death. Facing that possibility can be very difficult, as evidenced by so many people dealing with depression after the death of a loved one.

I know that if my husband or my children would die, it would be hard for a bit after the initial shock because day to day reality is a warm, comfortable blanket I snuggle deeper into the longer we are all engaged, but I understand that death does happen and I accept that. The time will pass, change will occur and a new reality will emerge. Will there be sadness when hugs can't be obtained or kisses exchanged, of course, but a different version of life will go on that engages me fully until my own eventual death. As an atheist, believing that this life is the only one we get, helps me to make good choices every day that enrich me, add meaning to it and bring satisfaction to my life. It makes the process of going through the bad times easier and by accepting whatever comes my way is just something that must be managed until there is nothing to manage anymore.

But, again, following their logic - if I knew for a fact that the place the person was going to was better than here and their pain and suffering in dealing with life on life's terms was over - I would be ecstatic for them, sad a little for me because I would miss their presence, but truly jubilant that they are somewhere better. The prospect that I will join them at a later date only adding to my joy.

Could it be possible that believers subconsciously haven't truly accepted that god is real and that, more than anything, is what is contributing to them wanting those people staying here healthy and vibrant? They know deep down in the recesses of the active but religion-suppressed brain cells, the ones that are making sense of nonsense, there is no god and when they die they are just dead. They have not yet come to terms with the fact that this life is all there is, they quite possibly haven't made the best of their relationship with this person and want more than anything for them to stay alive to make it all better between themselves. That's a wild theory, one they would deny, I'm sure.

For me, logically, this life is the only one there is and that there are trained individuals available who will do whatever it takes to fix a life and save it from death. But also knowing that in reality they are not gods and sometimes life just doesn't work out the way I want it to. There are no illusions that it would be any other way with the tools and resources available to us in this day and age. I depend on that keep my reality a relatively stable one.

Life is hard enough but add to that a belief that a mysterious figure, who they can't possibly know what motivates him to do the things he does, is the only thing they have to depend on to get them through the life and death situations of their loved ones; that must be an unsettling way to deal with the harshness that life throws their way.

Ultimately, everyone must decide for themselves what constitutes life, but removing imaginary bonds to a supernatural being are the first step to a life that is grounded in reality.

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I'll get through this...

After yet another incredibly tragic loss of a good night's sleep, I'm moved to write a piece about this lovely condition we call menopause, peri-menopause... the pause that is giving me fits at the moment. Hopefully, letting out all the frustration associated with it will give you some comedy and me some well-needed comedic relief. At least until I go to bed again tonight.

Today, I will be like a woman who has the ability to look forward to delivering more children even after experiencing the pain of labor and delivery. Like them, I will distract myself from recent hardships endured until it's time for bed and then realize, all over again, what I will be forced to 'labor' through about two hours in to the recurring experience.

The disruption of the sleep cycle and the many, many nights I experience them, is the hardest part of dealing with this change in my life. Lack of good sleep is creating, literally, a monster. My poor husband is usually the benefactor of 'the face', the grumblings and lack of intelligible communication I put forth, what little I do after experiencing yet one more night of sweating, heart palpitations, dreaming about entire other lives and obviously not sleeping.

For you ladies out there who are or have gone through what I'm experiencing, you will be sympathetic. If you've already cycled through this part of your life, you may even just chuckle and respond with a 'been there, done that, glad I don't have to do it again' smile. Up and coming young ones, take heed you could very well end up repeating my adventures.

It goes a little like this....

Tired from the restless night before, I'm looking forward to sleeping deep and uneventful. My husband rolls over to kiss me goodnight and is hopeful for me that tonight is the night that it will happen. As I lay there, I yawn and rub my arm and touch my chest and wonder if I will ever just feel soft again or am I destined to always feel sticky at  night after many, many rounds of hot flashes experienced during the day.

Falling asleep is not a problem for me. Count to ten and I'm there. My problems usually start after about two hours. Angrily, I wake up to a really ridiculous dream, where I'm inevitably in a situation where a hot atmosphere is surrounding me. I know what is about to play out and my wish is that my body and I aren't fighting with this all night long.

Upon awakening, the covers are immediately thrown off and I realize that my ceiling fan above isn't working at plane engine speed. Groan, groan, groan... heat pours over my face, my arms and down my body after rising up from deep in the middle of my chest. Sweat dribbles off my forehead and I feel slightly moistened over the rest of my body. After the initial explosion of heat, my face slowly gets cooler along with the rest of the body, back down to a normal temperature. This seems like an eternity but in reality is usually all over in a few minutes. The prickling that comes after the burn, or as I like to call it, the agitation of my poor blood vessels and sweat glands, is yet another experience that adds fuel to my ever deteriorating cheery disposition. Next up, the heart palpitations make an entrance, as the receding heat and sweat evaporate from my body. This, thankfully, also lasts a very short period, but brings with it a spiked feeling of anger. As the palpitations lessen, the heat is replaced with a chill from being exposed to the fan rotating above me, necessitating blankets being pulled up again. As I bundle up, I await the next venture into slumber and hopefully, this episode being the last one for the night.

On a good night, it will only happen once, but during a particularly bad phase, I can be up every 2 hours. Each episode making me crankier and less lovable after I wake up. Oh joy.

To be fair, definitely not as intense as hard labor, but still as intrusive, oppressive and really not necessary. Seriously, I'm stopping the ability to have a period every month, why must the resulting symptoms be of such discomfort. Why can't the periods just stop? Really. Just go away and be done with it, no need to drag this out! I'm seriously fine without all this shit.

Of all the things that burn my ass the most, though, it's that during this time in my life where I'm experiencing more peace and ease within myself, my kids are grown for the most part, I'm mature, I've learned a lot and I'm just in an all around better mental state; my physical state threatens to overturn all those wonderful milestones that have been achieved. Aargh! Enough already! I want to get back to enjoying my life!

These pissed off feelings about my situation will last a few moments longer and then I will do the dance of accepting, go about my day, muster up the strength to forge ahead and make the best of it. I'll be okay by dinner time, maybe, if it isn't at the end of a seriously long week of dealing with it. Today, it will be a bit of a struggle. Thankfully, most of the time, my body usually does realize when enough is enough and gives me what I need right when I almost can't deal with it anymore. And if not, drugs will do the trick and keep me out from the time I hit the pillow till the morning light. Yeah, modern medicine!

I've read that it could be a year or two AFTER the last period that women still experience these personal short trips to the tropics, so I'm thinking 2012 will be my year! Oh, no, but the world is supposed to end December 21, 2012... or was that October 21, 2011? Either way... fuck me.