Thursday, July 11, 2013

Silence Isn't Golden

When a person willingly puts the mute button on a conversation in order to avoid conflict, how in the fuck does that help the relationship? Communication is key, right?

One of my favorite lines is "Yes... No... Kiss my ass?" when I don't get feedback during a conversation, whether with a loved one or a friend. If I'm actively engaged with you in a mutually beneficial relationship, then please stop frustrating me when we are talking! It's like they either don't want to talk, won't answer questions or try to avoid what they think is about to come next. Arghh!

You've guessed it... I'm a talker. Especially when it's required, but also in casual conversation. I like to talk in general, yes, but specifically when it comes time to resolution of things. Shutting down is not an option for me. When I have something to say, I say it. Sometimes a bit blunt and direct, but always making the effort to communicate what is important. I expect the same in return.

I've had it with those moments when the silence enters the atmosphere when there should be sound. It's like a chilliness in an already cold room. Silence makes matters worse. How can things be solved when there is no communication?

I know when I was younger I literally shut down and walked away from conversations. Actually on many occasions. But that was before I understood that talking about problems, or anything for that matter, was important in order to have and maintain a good relationship. Perhaps the lack of communication is just a symptom of the real problem - immaturity?

The older I get, the more I enjoy engaging with people who will verbalize their thoughts and feelings honestly. The clock is ticking and I'll be damned if I waste anymore time waiting for the words to fall out of their mouths. Grow the hell up and learn to talk about what's going on in your head, people! I've really got better things to do than wait around till you feel more comfortable. I'd much rather be here, fully connected with you and making the relationship stronger and better because that's all talking openly and honestly really is... it's about fixing what makes you uncomfortable to begin with.

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