Wednesday, December 4, 2013

On Being Accepting

Tolerance Without Anger/Frustration = Acceptance

Maybe one of these days I will truly get to that point of complete acceptance of others. When I'm engaged with people who struggle to change my point of view because they don't approve of it, I have a real hard time being tolerant. I've never been one to enjoy being told what to do or what to think. When I was much younger, I not only had absolutely no desire to understand how others did things differently than me, but I was also all about making sure they started doing it my way. In some instances, with my husband, I still insist! Just ask him. But he'll tell you it's ok, she's smart.

Maturing through life experience has helped me understand that this journey we all take is a two way street. There is much to be said for not always having things your way. When I learned that I wan't always right and love/harmony/peace was worth going for, well that helped me a lot when I was finally ready to accept that nugget of information. Having said that though, life and situations don't always go so smoothly just because you want them to. It takes effort and patience, something else that has taken me some time to add to the armor I wear on the inside.

I can't say I always want acceptance either. Many times it's because I'm truly not invested in that person. So, simply said, their acceptance of me just doesn't matter. In other instances, peace of mind comes from not engaging with someone I know is really only out there to start trouble for the sake of hearing themselves speak. For the most part I can tolerate and even be accepting of another person and their viewpoints, specifically when they respect me enough to understand I deserve the same treatment. However, I still struggle with the frustration of others dictating what I should naturally want to be according to them. They obviously are more of an authority of who the best Susi should or could be. That raises the hair on my neck a bit and sets my jaws to clenching. My TMJ is not pleased.

That last bit of not getting rattled, that's the one thing that I will probably work on until the day I die. It's that thoroughly independent streak in me I've had since I was little; old habits die hard, I guess. DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!! I imagine a small blonde wild child in my head saying this; this old bird feeling it through and through, still. This was and still is, literally, the hardest thing for me to not see red about when it comes up for me in my life. When I feel like someone is trying to control me either through their actions, words or tone, it sets me off. Try being accepting of that other person after that happens! It's not easy.

But I think we should try. When I look at this world today and even after I read about our history, there is some much we could gain if only we could drop the desire to control situations and other people. I want to attain more peace as I get older and enjoy life rather than struggle with people who have a whacked idea about how I should lead my life. I want to learn how to let go of the frustration and anger; in its place, maybe pick up some joy instead.

I really do appreciate the gushy warm feeling when I read the words and sentiment in the picture above. It reminds me that peace and acceptance emanates from us when we choose to look at those things that have nothing to do with control of another human. Appreciation of the humane-ness we all have to offer gives us that ease towards one another. We have to show it for one, but if we choose to see it in others then we can both feel better about our interactions. Somewhere inside we have to look for the peace in ourselves and others in order to have tolerance without anger and frustration. But there has to be a willingness... on both parts.

For now, I will say that I will do my best to achieve what I need... a calm interior that doesn't automatically jettison feelings opposite of what I'm trying to remain and attain. Namaste

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