Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Instinct Takes Over

From Poems & Quotes
Many people think that forgiveness and acceptance go hand-in-hand when, in personal relationships, that bond is damaged or torn apart. My own personal sense of justice tells me that is impossible when you are dealing with the aftermath of hateful, cruel, inappropriate behavior or anything that would present itself to you in a fashion that you personally would find hurtful.

Having encountered many instances where people cross boundaries and whether it was friends, family or business associates, once they have done something that negates a supposed respectful relationship, acceptance becomes a less attainable thing. The only thing that anybody really wants from that point on is distance between oneself and the intruder on our sensibilities.

Can the person who perpetrates the injustice ever gain your acceptance again? Possibly, but that requires effort and a willingness from the person who has wronged you. It requires honesty and a commitment to understand the thing that he/she has done in the commission of that hurt. And it requires a sense of remorse and a commitment from them to never allow it to happen again. All those things, done over and over again, until that time when you can feel acceptance of that person as a natural state of being.

Call me a pessimist, but the likelihood of that happening for people like me... rare. Even though I try to hope for positive in all things, having a strong sense of what I'm entitled to as a person and as a realist about life in general, I have a tendency towards self-preservation and once wronged, will generally do what it takes to never have the offense or anything closely related to it, occur again.

It's hard for me to understand people, women specifically, who will remain with someone who beats the crap out of them; suffering unspeakable horrors at the hands of someone they love. It seems, with the act of remaining, they give their acquiesence to the violence they endure and to a degree, forgive and accept the monsters they live with. The one who beats them and the one inside of them that allows it. They don't seem to have that will to live the life they are deserving of or in many cases, not conscious of even being entitled to a better life, until it's almost too late.

The self-preservation I mentioned, this is what keeps me moving forward against not only the incidents of personal assaults, but also the harshness of life that we all encounter. This is my strength, my reality and what keeps me sane. It's also my joy, my happiness and what makes me want to stay in the game.

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