Wednesday, July 6, 2011

You didn't deserve this, Caylee

After the verdict was read yesterday, I saw reactions from "OMG, I want to fucking kill this girl for what she did!!" to "Why are people so emotionally involved about something that DOES NOT affect their lives in any way?" Hot-button issues for some, not so hot for others and everything in between.

My viewpoint on Casey Anthony and her case is that I don't know enough about the facts of the trial to comment on it. I didn't watch any of it, which surprises me as I usually do stay in the loop on headline-making cases in the news. But in retrospect, having curiosity and then checking in to watch would likely have pushed my buttons for sure and created all kinds of rage within me.  

Being a mother, my reaction leans towards red-hot fury that this caricature of a human being was ever called one. Hearing the details of what she did and didn't do would have probably sent me into an emotional tizzy that I wasn't prepared to handle. As a mother, she had a job to do and that was to protect her child; she failed miserably and with seemingly no remorse about it. Catching that hint of a sneer/smile when the Not Guilty verdict was announced was enough to make me want to throttle her.

On a couple of occasions, I've written about the importance of what being a good mother means to me. I'm not a perfect mother, but I've dealt with enough of not good mothering to know what's supposed to be important in that mother-child relationship. Raising two children in a fashion that is diametrically opposed to what I dealt with, only goes to reinforce that what I received was not good mothering. It informs me that I learned  enough to become something better and create a new relationship dynamic that is healthy and enriching for my children.

Casey Anthony's behavior (from information gathered in the news) suggests to me that she doesn't even begin to know what it means to be a mother, let alone a good one. Yes, media can skew things and sensationalize things to the point where truth really is unrecognizable, but my assertion that she doesn't demonstrate the qualities of being a good mother comes from only one established fact. Caylee wasn't reported missing until 31 days later and the call wasn't even made by her own mother. Caylee's grandmother reported it.

I can't even begin to understand what went on in that household between the mother, the father, Casey and Caylee; honestly, I really don't care what happened between them as adults. My only frustration and anger with this, is that a child died because good parenting and a sense of right and wrong was not in evidence in that household. 

What parent with a not quite yet 3 year old child would hesitate to get police involved within minutes of the disappearance of that said child, if the whereabouts couldn't immediately be determined? I've had a few of those kinds of scares in my lifetime with my two boys and I'm sure many other parents can also attest to having experienced this. It is one of the most frightening experiences you'll face as a parent and one that good parents want instantaneous relief from.

Now, take that image of what a rational, good parent would do and then add the fact this situation required her to act like a law-abiding citizen and decent human being; not on any level did she respond appropriately! If this was truly an accident, then why did she not make the obvious choice of getting the record set straight right from the very beginning? The only thing I can take away from it, before she was arrested, is that she probably murdered her child. If we add the drama of what possibly happened according to the defense team, we might conclude that it was an accidental death but now you've got two more vile people acting inappropriately and involved in the death of this beautiful little girl. The story of bad parenting just keeps getting worse.

Only one person really knows what happened and she can't tell us the truth because she's dead. Her death will probably never be righted and her having to suffer at the hands of someone who didn't value her, is a tragedy.

Casey got real lucky and will be allowed to live out her life, unlike her daughter. The verdict read not guilty and I can't prove she's a killer; I wasn't there and the evidence apparently didn't bear that out, but I think she is guilty. They couldn't conclude she was guilty of killing her child but she is guilty of not being a good mother. For that, I'm sure of it.

What every child deserves, at the very least, is a good mother. Caylee, you should have had that and the opportunity to live a full, happy life with someone who deserved you. I'm sad you didn't get that.

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