Sunday, December 5, 2010


Rejoice... for I have seen the light! I am no longer an atheist. I BELIEVE!!!

For all my friends, who know me, THAT is unbelievable! They would actually still be correct in their thinking of me.  I really don't believe in a god or any religion. However, I do proclaim that I most certainly BELIEVE IN ME!

In my lifetime, I've had the opportunity to speak to many different people about what it means to "believe in yourself" and also, not necessarily speak to others, but rather observe how they lived their lives.  Coming at this from different backgrounds and religious viewpoints gave me interesting insights into how people choose to approach this thing we call life.  What are their lives like when they do believe in themselves?

Having that sense of personal power is, to me, THE reason for achieving or fulfilling dreams and getting wants or needs met. For me, my own personal power is what guided the decisions I've made in my life and ultimately, the situations I've generally tended to find myself in. You might be sitting there saying.... well, duh... doesn't it generally happen that way?  Granted I haven't talked to each and every person on the planet, but so many that I have met, especially here in Kansas, that doesn't seem to be the case. These people of which I speak, give their personal power away to some creation who is supposed to direct them or who has power over them.  These people tend to wait for things to happen, rather than making things happen.

Now you might say, what about all those mega-churches with go-getter leaders "living the dream"?  They seem to be blessed by the almighty god... well, I personally believe that's not completely accurate. The charismatic ways that the leaders are able to get the flock to part ways with their money is the biggest reason they are where they are, but that's another blog.  They would still say it's all god giving it to them, but I would contend that the leaders ARE self-led and then telling the flock it's only because of god that any of their success has been achieved.  It keeps the nonsense alive for the believers who prefer to be led rather than think for themselves.  They continue to just wait for theirs while the leaders, on their power trips, are leading the masses.  

Some believers not only seem to do this so easily, but they are completely happy to do so. Can someone be truly happy not trying to reach for the things they want or need?  Being a self-led person, that scenario would not make me very happy.  Time on this earth is waaaaay too short to just sit on my butt and wait for things to happen.  I do enough of that when I sit in front of the tv. The cost to me personally would be enormous.  And think of all the interesting people I would miss out on meeting!  My personal growth would be severely comprised and stagnant.   How can anyone move forward in their lives, when the choices they will continue to make are without that sense of their own personal power? 

What is that?  I hear the other side saying they HAVE so much more personal power when they believe in a deity.  The "he gives me strength" crowd proudly shouts it to the rafters.  I see that over and over again, but truly find it hard to swallow when I see those same people are, once again, making more of the same stupid choices in their lives and stay stuck right where they were to begin with.  I will say that I have seen some believers who are just finally fed up with their circumstances, reach way deep down inside of themselves when they just couldn't stand their situation (whatever it may be) anymore and make some deeply defined self-led choices.  Their situations changed for the better.  Good for them!  ** Personal stories will not be shared to protect the innocent... plus it's really none of your business.**   But then... those same people... they'll turn around and say it was heavenly father who got me there and thank him.  That's something else I will never understand.  They did all the hard work, but the guy in the sky gets all the kudos.

So, I'll say it again... I believe in Me. I'm the one who puts one foot in front of the other and I'm the one who is deciding what I want my future to look like and go in that direction.  Not saying that the decisions I make will always result in what I want for myself.  Life is like that sometimes, it takes a big ass bite out of what you want and doesn't want to give it to you.  But I will continue and eventually, I'll get there.... or not.  And if not, believe me, it won't be from lack of trying.


  1. Well... I finally got to sit down at the computer and look at your site.. WOW!! I can't even debate this one with you Susi. I can't imagine how you don't see this the same way I do. I just wouldn't even know how to debate that you would think God isn't real, Jesus wasn't real, the Bible isn't really the Word of God... Hmmm... I love you but how can I debate this topic?? I'm going to have to put another topic out there.. the thing is, is that every topic I feel very strongly about, my heart and beliefs and soul feel so strongly about it because God said..... and I believe... This might be harder than I thought... :) Did you ever believe in God? Was there a point in your life that led you to not believe in Him? Do you admire people that do believe in Him or do you just see it as a weakness in them? I won't take it bad if you say you don't. I know you love me!

  2. I was saying the "can't believe you don't see this the same way I do" with my tongue-in-cheek.. just so you know... I was smiling.

  3. de·bate (d-bt)
    1. To consider something; deliberate.
    2. To engage in argument by discussing opposing points.
    3. To engage in a formal discussion or argument. See Synonyms at discuss.
    4. Obsolete To fight or quarrel.
    1. To deliberate on; consider.
    2. To dispute or argue about.
    3. To discuss or argue (a question, for example) formally.
    4. Obsolete To fight or argue for or over.
    1. A discussion involving opposing points; an argument.
    2. Deliberation; consideration: passed the motion with little debate.
    3. A formal contest of argumentation in which two opposing teams defend and attack a given proposition.
    4. Obsolete Conflict; strife.

    given the definition above... i think you could debate the subject. it may be hard, but all i ever ask is that someone would concede when a valid point has been made, either side.

    i think when i was much younger, i believed in the idea of god and searched for it, but i've always questioned the existence. yes, i eventually got to a point where it just didn't make any sense to try and want to believe. can't remember the specific moment but reading the bible helped nudge me in that direction. i don't admire people for believing in him, i admire them for whatever positive attributes they possess. but it seems i like people who do because they tend to be very nice people. their belief in something that can't be explained is not something i can agree with or understand. i do think for some it is a real weakness, as i said above. for others, frankly, they are delusional (i'm speaking of some of the more fundamentalists sects or pentacostal). on the scope of believing, it's like the kinsey sex scale - from atheist to full blown crazy, speaking in tongues, rolling on the floor believer, fred phelps gang... they span the entire range, but mostly fall into a bell curve is my best guess. and are, generally speaking, the harmless ones... entitled to their beliefs as long as they don't force it down others throats, but still something that would make me question not their humanity but certainly their thought process.