Sunday, January 4, 2015

Family Is Overrated

kris krug

Well a good one isn't, but just because we're related doesn't make the relationship better or more special. What makes these connections good, any actually, are the shared experiences, the love, honesty, loyalty and the trust between the individuals. Not some meme that floats around Facebook that claims a mother's love is precious, sisters are the greatest, great dads protect their daughters, brothers are your best friend, etc... oh, barf. A decent and more honest meme would be one identifying the person who has thrilled the other and why.

We all have family we can't stand because of their actions, their attitudes or their way of thinking but more importantly because of how they have treated us. Being family doesn't make them better just because of their DNA. Actually, it makes them worse people if their only claim to their special-ness is that they are related to you when their actions as humans suck, and especially when their suckiness is directed at you.

I'd like to think that this whole world could get along like the best of what family is supposed to represent, but we know that is an unattainable myth because you know... differences and ego. And that's okay. But until we reach some enlightenment about how people should really treat each other, please stop putting family on some sort of pedestal. Some family is no different than the worst people our society has to offer.

I used to think that because my kids were physically birthed from me that connection alone made it more special. It doesn't, it just makes it different than relationships that happen to us through our interaction in the world. What makes them better (in my eyes) is the amount of care and nurture that went into making them the best they could be. In turn, hopefully with enough good steering, they will then take over and be non-reckless drivers without me. Their contributions to this world will speak to what kind of people they will become, and thereby how human and humane they are. Our relationship depends on two factors only, them and me. If I can succeed on reassuring them that I love them, prove it with my actions and be consistent in my efforts, then I can consider we have a decent relationship. Then my family is worthy of me salivating sickly sweetness over them. But only them and not family in general.

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