Coming Out Atheist

I've written about how I live my life as an atheist, but I've never talked about why I live my life as an atheist and what brought me to that decision. 

I've never considered my self burdened by or chained to religion, as I grew up in a household pretty much devoid of one, but I always did think I was supposed to have one throughout my early life or, at the very least, believe in the idea that there truly did exist someone known as god.

Who am I am now and what my views are on religion now are nowhere near where I came from. Let me explain how I became free from the shackles of thinking that I needed to 'believe' in anything.

When I was younger the thoughts always revolved around a feeling that there had to be a creator of what I was experiencing around me. I tried for many, many years to find that so called creator. Many churches of many different faiths saw my attendance as a possibility that I would somehow 'stick' with them when I enrolled in their churches. Alas, that didn't happen as each one let me down in one way or another.

One day, I just stopped going towards any church to answer the question of "Is there a creator?" I began a somewhat isolated approach to the question of spirituality. I asked myself and others many questions about god, but still never really received any answers that fully satisfied me.

The day that really cemented the fact that there couldn't be a god for me was when I watched the movie called "The Rapture" with Mimi Rogers. At the end, I could not help but to identify with the main character and say to myself 'how could a loving god be anything but an ass for what he has asked of her?' In the movie, god implored her to kill her own child and await instructions. She did as instructed, but then realized how vile this request was. She would sacrifice her own child and was supposed to be happy for making such a decision, then look lovingly in the eyes of her lord! How utterly disgusting.

From that moment on, it finally made sense to me. THIS is the god that everyone has wanted me to believe was real. There, unfortunately, was no way that I could EVER want to follow someone as egomaniacal as this guy. Finally, it resonated that if there truly was a god, he was a dick. So, from that time on, having no evidence for a god and coming to that conclusion, I've decided that atheist is the best label for me. If there was a god, why in the world would I align myself with or especially follow someone who has been depicted as someone who is completely and utterly morally bankrupt?

It has made my life simple and straight-forward. Today I enjoy my life and I look forward to experiencing it to the fullest, restrained from the guilt and shame of being judged for every single move I make. Freedom! How I live my life now is one that is rich with experience with the love of my husband and children, my friends - not met, old and new. It doesn't require the belief in a supernatural to live a satisfying and full life, it just requires being engaged in my life fully in order to experience one!

The picture above is the tattoo I got when I understood how important it was to be loud and proud about who I was. The atheist solidarity ribbon is to show everyone, atheists and believers, that we as atheists are here to stay and the saying "We will never be, never be anything but loud", is to proclaim that we cannot be silenced any longer!

Indoctrination is a Friend of Power and Greed

I've never understood why the mega-organizations and some leaders of the faithful would be allowed to be in a position where they are sitting on literally billions of dollars or even have a net worth in those numbers.Those that would claim to be followers of god or jesus or whatever the name of their god in other faiths is, should really be 'power-less' and more concerned with their flock; not to mention, living a life that would reflect what most of their followers have. But it seems money or the fact that so many good little followers continue to pad their churches' wallets entitles the leaders to become less like who they preach they want to emulate. I've always firmly thought that any money collected on behalf of charitable organizations should come in and go out to those who the funds are being raised for, not the organizers; ensuring that any expenses are kept to zero or very little.

Billions - yes, billions is what they are taking (actually, raking) in and it doesn't seem to stop. The other part is that it really doesn't go anywhere either. It simply resides with those that command it be given to them to use in whichever way they choose. The current laws have been structured in their favor so we won't know how corrupt their actions really are. It would seem it is just about power and greed, not about what is best for the people they serve. The people giving simply 'believe' that tithing is the right thing as they've been instructed to do. This is where not questioning gets you into trouble and why the moniker 'sheep' is a good description, as that is what sheep do - they follow rather than lead themselves.

Ironically, I searched for a picture under Preacher and this came up. It was titled 'Businessman with arms raised'. Isn't that what they really are when all their actions are intended to increase the bottom line?

People of faith who would blindly do as their pastor tells them, set themselves up to approach life and how they lead it from that same perspective. With a little over 83% of the people in this country having aligned with some form of religion, we can see how the indoctrination of 'following' rather than thinking for oneself, has contributed to this high of a percentage choosing a religious affiliation.

There is a mindset that goes along with being a person of faith and it doesn't just happen all by itself. Faithful people in leadership positions within their religious organizations know that children will be the most willing to absorb the indoctrination. That is why they tell their congregations to school their children in the ways of the lord. Young minds are being molded to believe in fairy tales, to be submissive to, scared of, fearful of and generally abdicate thinking to someone in the church hierarchy who is doing the thinking for them. Well, them and the almighty god who knows better about everything than the lowly humans do. They grow up in an atmosphere that continually reinforces that mindset; no wonder they don't deal any differently when they become adults.

Interestingly, as with anything in life, one of two things will happen in the indoctrination process. Those choosing to remain in the religious fold will either remain faithful to their upbringing and continue that cycle of indoctrination or they will think for themselves. When they do think for themselves they will understand being under the thumb of someone else is inappropriate for their life and will shed their religious upbringing. Those that remain in it - fully, wholeheartedly and aspiring to great notoriety - those will use it to their own advantage; having grasped the power and the financial gain that could come to them when they do. The first person who understood this concept of gaining power over others by creating followers is how religion became to be used by self-serving people. These people will continue to perpetuate this cycle of power and greed by becoming leaders in organized religion to control the followers. All under the guise of being a 'believer'; all the while profiting and benefiting off those who would not think for themselves.

Luckily, we are seeing a shift in the hold that powerful and greedy people in organized religion have over the faithful; people have been leaving religion in droves and continue to even now. Those that are still faithful are revolting against the oppression that was built into the religious dynamic by speaking out against those who would want a status quo, as evidenced by all the scandals surrounding the Catholic Church and we are seeing this in the political arena as well with the Occupy Movement. The indoctrination of oppression is seeing the shackles falling off of those people who were held captive by them previously as they realize that those who would oppress them have only desired to maintain their own interests, not those of their followers. I look forward to a world where indoctrination is a dirty word.

Change can sometimes be a slow process, realizing only minimal gains for the better. But it is progress, never-the-less, when you witness people taking back their rights, their dignity, their intelligence, their humanity and, most importantly, their freedom.

*Also published at AtheismResource.com 

The Fallacy of Labels

I'm a human being who is....

• a German by ancestry.

• an American by passport.

• an Atheist because of logic and reasoning skills.

• a Liberal based on the actual definition, not what Conservatives make it out to be.

• a part of a Community and always tries to add value.

• a Mother to two wonderful boys because I had the choice and fully accept my responsibility to be one.

• a Daughter because I had no choice in the matter, but glad I'm here.

• a Sister having had no choice in this either, but wouldn't want it any other way.

• a Wife due to my best friend also being someone I want to share everything with.

• a Friend to those who know how to be one.

• a Colleague in the work world who knows how to give 100%.

• an Adult because of my chronological age and how I act out in the world.

• a Sexual Being, but whose Sexual Preference is her business and irrelevant to the conversation.

My labels and my definitions work for me and me alone. The next human being you meet who tells you their label, remember that their description will be different. And please don't judge them by their labels, but be aware of their intentions and their actions. That will tell you who they really are.

Being human is what we all have in common and my hope is that, one day, all human beings will value that feature first and foremost. When we do, acceptance comes naturally and when we have that, everyone's definition of themselves will have a likelihood of being a positive one that, in turn, will impact the rest of us in a good way.

Freethinkers Want to Know

"piet" asked me for a favor. Below is the link to his post. Believers - Would you kindly oblige 'piet' with a request he has made on his blog? He asks many reasonable questions that many skeptics, like myself, have also asked themselves. These are the kind of questions that led me to where I am today - preferring rational thinking for myself rather than blindly following some stories that make absolutely no sense, are contradictory and have just been passed down from one generation after the other playing out like the world's longest version of the "Whispering Game".

Here's my question - How can you NOT ask questions?

97 Questions for the Believer

I Love You, Babe

If destiny is a reality then I think you are truly the one I was destined to love. The one who was meant to fill that spot in my heart that no one else could. You knew that when we met... you felt that in your veins right from the beginning, didn't you?

Your kisses were clumsy at first. You were shy and afraid. Who is this girl who has made you feel something again? I bet that's what was going through your head when you decided to give in to your heart's feelings. I'm so glad that nothing stopped you from hesitating. Not the fact that we lived so far apart or that your wounds were still fresh from your recent break-up or that I came with a ready-made family. All you knew was that you wanted to be with me.

Do you realize how special you made me feel? Do you know how very important you became to me when you lifted me up from my own misery and let me begin to heal with your protection and love? My being went deeper and deeper in love with you as my own hurts and past fell away. You always accepted me and because of that, I got stronger and the pride you felt grew bigger as the whole person of me emerged in the protection of your love.

As you stand by my side now, enveloping me with your love, I feel deeper and richer feelings for you, as we both change and grow with each other as well as in the different facets of our independent lives. I'm proud to be your wife, now and forever, standing together at the head of our little family. I feel a great sense of accomplishment and joy showing our boys how it should be done. My dearest love, my life with you has been an incredible journey, a blessing and also, trials to keep us on our toes. We've come through the good times and the bad times better than I'd ever hoped for.

Loving you has been a delicious adventure and one I could never have imagined having, let along taking, but I did and I'm the richer for it. I'm truly indebted to you in so many ways. You are my protector, my friend, comforter, companion in laughter, the eyes to my soul, my conscience and my strength when I need it. A day doesn't go by without one or one million thoughts about you and how gracefully you have complemented my life. The goodness of you is imprinted on my soul and something I could and never would erase.

I love you... dear husband, friend, confidante... deeply, completely and always.

Maturity and Wisdom

Being mature means having the ability to honestly reflect on one's behavior, understand the mistakes you have made and empathize with those who were the recipients of your harmful actions.

Wisdom is gained when you take personal responsibility for those mistakes and your ability to not repeat them means your maturity level rises exponentially.

Happy Never Lets Go of You

Just like this picture, my earliest happy memories bring me back to a place of having energy, enthusiasm, a sense of adventure and happiness. This is what I was feeling at about nine or ten years old. I was just beginning to venture outside of my self-discovery and incorporate, consciously, those things that would impact me for years to come. My previous life experiences had left impressions, but this time in my life felt like it was the beginning of who I was to be. I didn't know it then, but my journey of self - stepping out as a fresh new human being and participating wholly in that process -  that is what being happy means to me.

When I'm feeling the pressures of adulthood, I sometimes recall that time period of my life and reflect on it with a twinge of disappointment; why couldn't time just have stood still for me? Life and the things that get thrown at me in my present, make me wish for that time again when 'taking care of responsibilities' isn't in my vocabulary. All I was really responsible for was enjoying every day as it made itself known to me.

For the most part, those youthful days were filled with learning, friendship, playing, laughing, giggling and tons of new discoveries. The occasional sickness or fight with friends came up, but it was still not a deterrent from enjoying what came my way. It seemed that I slid easily into that role of happy back then.

Feeling happiness didn't change for many years. Inevitably, there would be days that just weren't that amazing, but still, happiness or what I thought it was stayed within the realm of my reach. Looking back, I'd have to say that a definite shift occurred around my mid-twenties, making happiness seem elusive at times and sometimes, non-existent. Sadly, there were even extended periods in my thirties and up through my mid-forties when I didn't think I'd ever be happy again. Don't get me wrong, I had fun during those years, but didn't have a feeling of energy, enthusiasm, a sense of adventure or revel in happiness as I did when I was much younger. It seemed like the uphill loop of feeling good wasn't quite sure how to catch the wave and get higher to reach those moments of joy. It stayed flat and felt like life was as good as it was going to get.

I'm now approaching fifty and have to say that I've had an extended period of experiencing happiness since my mid-forties. There have been and are still continual tests that would try to rid me of experiencing those satisfaction producing moments of my current life. Physically, I think hormones play a great deal in how we feel or react to the good and bad in life. But, it certainly doesn't address everything. From my experiences, the differences between now and past moments is partly due to the internal self-discovery that doesn't really happen on a conscious level when you are younger. Now, I'm fairly settled and in a centered place. Before, when I was younger, I was just reacting, doing, surviving, struggling to make sense of everything.

I think the older I get I discover that the things I just spontaneously enjoyed and took for granted - energy, enthusiasm, a sense of adventure - those are things that we don't lose, we just lose a desire for when faced with responsibilities, hardships and realities that are too much to handle. We quite possibly feel that indulging in them would take us away from those things that need addressing at that moment. Probably, the loudest thing resonating in my head was 'You're a grown-up now, it's not about having fun.'

What I've found, though, is that the happiness I feel now is no different than what I experienced as a child. It came back to me, a sort of awakening to it because my life changed again. Responsibilities are ever present, but my focus now is on my own satisfaction in conjunction with my present life. Happiness didn't elude me then because I was diligently focusing my attention on what I wanted to wrap myself in just for the sake of undertaking it. Knowing what it would feel like, what I would learn and how it would fit to me; that is what brought me happiness. I made choices for me, rather than having life determine what choices needed to be made. When my happiness level was at its lowest, I was in the highest state of reaction rather than action.

The happiness I experience now is a welcomed, old familiar feeling. Living life in a fully conscious state of putting one foot in front of the other in the fashion of my choosing has meant everything to me. It gives me all those things from my youth that I thought were missing, but most importantly, I feel happy most of the time even in the face of events that might cause issues for me. I'm back to feeling something that for many years just felt watered-down.

Interestingly, when I was younger I was also much more physically active. One could say that it contributed to the feelings of happiness, but it's different somehow. When I experience the energy, it is a feeling of strength and determination regardless of the physical state. The enthusiasm displays itself not only for wanting to selfishly experience things, but also, I feel an outward enthusiasm that makes me want to bring everyone on board with me. The sense of adventure that I feel is not only from my eyes being open, as before, but because my heart and my mind are now more open, too. I want to engage everyone to be a part of it, to go with me wherever that adventure may take me. This is the key difference, I think, to the level of conscious happiness that I now experience. Being fully focused on what is my next step and having made sure that all the connections I have in this world be a part of that adventure, ensures that I will experience the rest of my life in a state that can't be described in any other way than being happy.

Isn't being happy all we've ever wanted? We just have to remember that it's always waiting to be rediscovered and accepting the fact that we are really the only ones that are in charge of that.

"It Spoke to Me" and I Must Post It

Philippians 4:6-7  New International Version (NIV)

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Tonight I saw a status update on Facebook that I would term "shorthand for jesus-speak." Many times, and I've done this myself, Facebook fans feel the need to post things slightly coded but not really indecipherable. Because I happen to have christians as friends I do get the religious posts occasionally. The most recent 'Phil 4 6-7' was easy enough to figure out. I don't get many, that's perfectly all right. I'm always up for learning something new.

Spoiler alert - I didn't. What I understand is first, don't be anxious. Meaning - god's got this, so no worries. Second, but even if you're paying attention to the first part of not worrying, you should still pray and petition (gratefully) your lord and savior what you're totally not acting worried about. And then it goes on to say itself that it makes absolutely no sense what-so-ever, but then you will feel at peace because you did.

I've attempted to wrap my mind around this many different ways, tried not to be insulting in my thought process, but each time I come back to WTF?

Why would you need to keep praying and petitioning when the man says he's got this? And from a rational perspective, why would you worry anyway? You can't change things, they are what they are.

These kinds of things make me glad that I don't believe in the irrational. My life is simpler and easier for me because I've got my head firmly planted in reality. I worry about those who don't.  :) Nah, not really.

Reason's Greetings and Merry Mythmas!

It's never too early to start talking about this stuff seeing's how our retail establishments are already in full swing.

Our family doesn't celebrate christmas anymore. If your family does, it's cool because everyone has to decide for themselves what it means to celebrate christmas. For us, that went by the wayside when we finally acknowledged that we don't buy into the whole capitalistic slant it's taken on. Our family buys each other gifts whenever we feel the need to give them, not just one day a year. Well, that and we really think spending all that money and time on decorating is ridiculous. Personally, I'd rather see a starving child get what it costs to light up my house. Also, our family doesn't practice any religion that celebrates it for the alleged birth of christ. For that reason, it was extremely hypocritical of us when we did participate in the traditional christmas celebration, so we decided to stop.

I'm sure there many of my christian readers bristling at the suggestion that I say December 25th is the alleged birth of christ. To that, I would say please check your bible. Show me the evidence that he was born on December 25th, conclusively. You could also go to this handy website and get an education... Christmas - The Real Story. Actually, go one step further and read Nailed: The Ten Christian Myths that show Jesus Never Existed At All. For me, this does such a good job of explaining why celebrating "The reason for the season" is a complete and utter joke; only one more example of why believing this christmas nonsense makes no sense.

As I said, what you do this December 25th and how you celebrate is really your business, not mine. But I do hope that you'll take a moment to reassess why you think it's valuable to put yourself in debt for presents, gift your family for no other reason than 'it's traditional' or why you are even participating with something that has no empirical evidence to even deem it worthy of celebration. After that, if you still think you have legitimate reasons to celebrate, then have the fuck at it and enjoy! But if you don't, keep pondering and hopefully then you'll get to a point where it makes sense for you.

In the meantime, Happy Holidays and enjoy the time off! :)

And to David, who I stole the Reason's Greetings and Merry Mythmas from...  I give you full and proper credit for the title! I ♥ the sentiment, man!

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