New Year, New Adventure

First came Susi's Soap Box, then PhiloSusi and now I have a website where all my thoughts will go.

IWriteHer.com

Please join me there. And/or you can like the FB page - I Write Her 

That's where you'll find me sharing my guts. :)

Drunk Writing

Here goes... something in a completely different fashion. No holds barred, decided to do something I normally, actually never do, write drunk.

I am currently extremely inebriated, 2 drinks and 4 different types of alcohol later... here I am writing. I've been told that Christopher Hitchens did his best writing while he had been drinking. This is my attempt. :)

The boiler-maker I'm working on now will mean 6 types of drinks. The goal of which is for you to determine if my writing is better or worse now that I'm under the spell of alcohol rather than just thought.

They say that only people who tell the truth are drunks, children and I don't remember the third category... and can't find it on my damn FB page right now either! Well I AM  drunk, listening to nature sounds and writing.

My problem is I don't know what to actually write about. So I guess whatever just pops in my head right now and that is.... also, I will edit like I normally would do.

I think I want to take another drink of the next boiler maker!!!! YAYAY!!!

Seriously, my sons are home. They are upstairs. SHHH! Do not tell them we are talking, they would be embarrassed that I'm even writing about them! Really. They do not want any mention, they want complete anonymity! Makes me wonder where I took a wrong turn along the way of child-rearing... actually not. When I consider the fact that I did not REALLY give them instruction on how to be REALLY free humans until I, myself, knew what that actually meant. Thanks, JT!! It will take some time before they unlearn all the bullshit I taught them before 2010!

Thinking about being true to myself, I really wish I would have been more ... jeez, this nature background is annoying! Just stopped it... now I only have the heater going at my feet noise. Yay! Make its easier to write this for actual publication and I will be publicizing this WHILE I'm drunk. hiccuping and all! And fingers kinda numb feelings.  :)

Android Device Manager! Get it! Seriously! It will help you locate your phone when you think it's lost, specifically when it's right next to you!! Drinking impairs your ability to find something because really you are clueless... really clueless!! I found it! My phone was not on me, but charging and now I have it, thanks to my son! YAY! I told him about my project/experiment. Good job, great that I can count on him to help me. True love. :)

Okay, let's us pretend we are actually talking about an actual subject.

I've just received an email about my Internet bill. $77.16. How much does anyone else pay?

Still have not received any input as to what people like to know more about. :(

Talk about multi=tasking - listening to a speech - David Tamayo from Skepticon 6, saying good bye to younger son, looking up bill from Internet/Phone service for cost and trying to understand what to write about?? I don't know what is multi-tasking??!?!?!

I'm sitting here talking to my son. He says lack of creativity whilst drunk.. he says it's too cold in here. I say, fuck it. I'm not cold, are you???

So what shall we talk about??It's not been a failure.I love my kids! I really do!!

Even when I'm really been grammatically correct. I love it. I'm not a mean drunk, nor am I vicious, just cute.  :) This has been an incredible experiment. My son, Sean, has been sitting here and watching me work, if you can call it work, and judging me... relentlessly. It's been fun and enjoyable. :)

Still waiting for others to provide a topic, not happening... yet, buy now I have a few. Nelson Mandela and his death. Still not sure that I can comprehend it happening as I'm really not even engaged... ya know. But I will speak to coming out.. as an atheist.

Being yourself... SO FUCKING IMPORTANT!!! I want everyone to understand that drunk or not, YOU SHOULD always be who you FEEL on the inside. Don't let anyone tell you who you should be or how you should feel. I'm so sick of others dictating what I know for myself! I'M not wrong, whatever the time should be in my life, about who I am at that moment. If I only let it be public, that is who I am and whether you like it or not, that is what I feel at that very moment. Take it for what it is, accept it whether you like what you are hearing or not. This is who I am.

This is the topic. Acceptance of what we decide to put out there. Like it?

If not, I fucking decide to not like you. Really, what is wrong with people being who they decide for themselves who they need to be when they are in a place of total acceptance of themselves? Really. It's like saying they don't matter when they finally reveal who they are to the rest of the world. YOU, person, suck, I say!! I may not agree with who they are and even feel a bit uncomfortable with their presentation of who they are, but I will not be upset with THEM when they decide... this is who I am! They give me the opportunity to decide for myself whether I want to agree or disagree, but in any sense, it does not mean I disparage their effort to come out and be honest with who they are! I hate that about haters. Fuck you for publicly saying that just because they don't measure up to what you think is appropriate, it's ok to dis them in public. How many times have you done things that are not ok, but we let you slide because we are afraid to say... YOU SUCK!!! Fuck you!

Ok, I'm done on that subject, next.

Coming out as... whatever. Be proud, be LOUD... soooo important!! YES!! Most definitely!!! I've kept my mouth shut for 48 years (until I felt comfortable around friends). NO ONE should feel as if they don't have a right to feel good about who they are. Many times, our friends and even family make us feel like we shouldn't just BE who are are. I'm tired of thinking that who I am is some how supposed to feel like I can't be who I feel like being. Our friends and family( and especially anyone outside of that cirlcle) DO NOT have the right to tell us how we are to act, feel or be. Period.

Subjects have been suggested on FB. How much do I know about addiction. I'm thinking it was facetious, as I'm doing this drunk. I don't think I'm addicted to alcohol, just so you know. Addiction does run in our family, unfortunately, but I like to say that I like to drink but it does not run me. Some of my relatives, blood or not, were run by alcohol, but alcohol does not run me... I decide whether I want to get beyond what it means to be an in control of my life situation. Currently, I WANT to be drunk because I think it will make for interesting reading. Other than that, it happens when I want to add to the fesitivies that are occurring and at times just because I've had a fucking hard day. THAT is rare. But when it does, I decide to imbibe to help feel relaxed. Alcohol does not rule my decisions, I rule the decisions that precede me picking up that drink. Done, next.

Rape complacency - not even sure what that means. I've never been complacent about my reaction to rape. Let me look that up. I'm drunk you know and not something that I've been associated with. Just so you know, I'm not complacent with the idea of rape. If someone is raped, anyone, it's wrong and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law!! Period. If you disagree, why are we friends?

Nelson Mandela died today. I'm sad because he had a lot to contribute to the dialogue of freedom but also activism. He spent a shit ton of time in prison to give a voice to the injustice that not only he, but millions were suffering. Props to that man, sad to hear that voice was extinguished. We so need many more voices like his!!!

Criminality in our justice system - a friend of mine is currently going through a situation that affects his family in a rather bad way. His son, even though he feels is innocent, is having to endure what he feels is criminality in our justice system. And I would think, rightly so! The law enforcement system is doing what they think is correct, he is doing what he feels is correct and believe me, I side with him. I have a huge suspicion of people in authority. Many times they get it wrong. They may legitimately be trying to make sure they are doing it 'right', but in the process they hurt those who are really right and not actually the criminals that the law would like to make them out to be. This is why it is SO important to make sure that we continue to hold fast to the understanding 'innocent until proven guilty" edict and FACTS! Many of the people we'd like to convict in the jury of public opinion just are not guilty, even as much as the media would like to make them out to be. This is also where skepticism, and learning how to think that way, come into play. Stop judging people because of headlines. The people who report the news don't always get it right if they are going for sensationalism rather than just reporting what is understood at that time.

And lastly, a friend of mine suggested I comment on her posts. She had about 15 of them, I exaggerate, but they were ALL funny! So here's to her.. they were awesome! Thank you for the entertainment! We need more of her!  :) I say this not because I've been drinking, but damn... can't everyone just lighten up a bit?!?! I really enjoy all my Facebook friends who seem to have a sense of humor.

I'm getting soberer. My son is checking on me. He's leaving soon, eating is important you know. :) Geez the video he took of me takes so damn long to load up! You guys are going to enjoy this when it finally can get published.:) I just want you to know that I edited while I was drinking and not sober. I'm thinking I did a phenomenal job. LOL

This is the end of my blog. See ya! :)

Delicious Words

One of my favorites is intimated. I'm not sure why, but I like how it rolls off my tongue, how it infers meaning ever so slightly, seductively. The core word, intimate, may have something to do with it; intimacy is always a good thing. But regardless of its meaning, I like how it feels when I say it in a sentence.

It got me thinking that others have favorite words, too. A good friend of mine loves the word egomaniacal. I can understand why. It has an unusually good flow about it, never mind about what its definition is.

Being a writer (I fancy myself one), words are very important to me. I like hearing them, digesting them when I read and letting them fully hit my brain with their meaning. The impact can be quite great at times. They create a tone, an understanding and ultimately a connection. That impact can be with another person giving a speech or with characters in the story, but also individuals during conversation. The words people use help me to understand them better, either bringing me closer or tainting what their outer appearance may indicate about them.

Words are used to describe things, they identify what we are trying to talk about. They give clarity and direction. They obviously serve the purpose of being able to communicate with other individuals. It is a rather banal task, but for me it never seems that way. Words are juicy, entertaining and really... just wonderful. :)

Either in this blog or elsewhere, the goal is that readers get me. But they may not. Hopefully I will leave them pondering and coming back to hear more. The words I choose deliberately will set the tone for future engagement with others. I like that. And for that reason, I choose my words carefully, but also purposefully. I have a voice with a distinct message, that is what my writing is about. Or at least that is what I'm trying to convey.

Interestingly, for many years I thought I just loved good music for it richness and ability to weave a melodic current that I connected with. I certainly enjoyed good combinations of instruments and a melody that produced that oh so special quality that kept me physically involved, but I realized that in order for me to truly be sold 100% on the song, it had to have the right lyrics. They had to make sense, they had to fit along with the music and they had to convey some sort of message with the wording. If a songwriter can appeal to my sensitivity to words used well and the music backing it up is original as well as inducing a physical reaction... well, then they are good in my book.

Bottom line... I.love.words. That is all. I didn't really realize that until writing became my focus. When I reflected back, it's always been about the words. I remember when I was younger, the dictionary held my attention quite a bit. It wasn't unusual for me to read it diligently for quite some time after I'd found the word I needed to look up for better understanding. I could actually just read the dictionary for no other reason than for enjoyment. Spelling was my favorite thing in English class. I usually got an A on our weekly tests. Book reports were second in line and listening to oral presentations rounded out my top favorites in school. I truly enjoyed words... listening to them, understanding them and then utilizing them correctly. Interestingly, this didn't dawn on me until I was much older. It's funny how sometimes we don't figure out things about ourselves until we involve ourselves deeply in our passions. I would definitely advocate that we all do that.

What do words do for you? Do you have favorites, too?

Chasing Writing

I recently watched "Chasing Ice". An amazing documentary that gave me more than one 'food for thought' moment. The star of this incredible piece of social artwork said something profound - "observing it, knowing it, sharing it and sharing it effectively". This was his mission and purpose in bringing the plight of Global Warming/Climate Change to the audience. It got me thinking about what I've been doing for the last two years. 

https://www.facebook.com/longlifesecrets

I'm not what you would call a prolific writer, but I'm always thinking and have many thoughts that lead to pieces yet to be written. Currently, there's a backlog of those waiting to see the light of day. I'll go through spurts where I could write four or five publishable pieces and then I'll go for weeks and nothing. That doesn't discourage me or stop the subjects from making themselves known. I still add them as they come to me and make notes about the direction these pieces must take. It might just be a little while before I get back to them. That's ok, for now.

Writing has been elusive to me at times, even though it's what makes me feel my most human when I'm deeply in the thick of doing it. And now, my mind keeps coming back to those key words from Chasing Ice -  'sharing it effectively'. How can I accomplish that with what is my passion, my drive, my sense of justice, my thoughts and ultimately, my writing? Because after all, my goal is about being heard; the written message and the thought process on any given subject ingested willingly by the reader. But not only do I want to be heard as I have a voice in this world just as everyone else does, but I want to be understood... clearly... always.

When they do understand, you connect. When you connect, things change. I hope that my thoughts resonate, possibly spurring people to action and maybe inspiring them to have a different thought process about some or any idea. I dream about the things bouncing around in my head being the catalyst for change(s) in the world, good shifts and positive outcomes. The world becomes a better place in my mind. When our individual influence rubs softly on those who we've connected with, then, incrementally, the pleasant and desired positivity can develop and surround a greater area. And it builds. We hopefully will continue to express ourselves and make our voices heard. Understanding leads us down a path of growth, for ourselves and those who've chosen to cross our path. I'm fortunate, I feel like I've been able to develop many good relationships because the communication between us has successfully cemented that connection. My community has grown and I'm richer for it.

My profound thoughts will continue to drive me as I look at the mechanics of writing and as I continue to be more serious about the direction of it, this will motivate me to become more effectively able to share it. As I continue that whole process will probably change. Will I still use the same formula for writing or will that readjust, too? Does the dedication and time devoted increase or will that not be necessary as my skills develop further? I do look forward to what the next level of devotion to my craft will be and what that actually means. More depth in my writing? Better analysis of the subject matter? Increased writing skill? I hope.

If I've learned one thing in the last few years, the connection I've made to writing was enabled by the connection made with other people and the deeper parts of myself. They have, in many ways, inspired me to become more open and inquisitive about our world and what I bring to it. Their feedback, their criticism and their positive words when an idea I shared touched them... that has made my writing be the best part of my humanity. And I thank them for it.

As I chase this internal desire, I look forward to who I'm bringing on this ride with me. 

Read, Think, Write

READ

THINK

WRITE

In that order, that is my formula.

I choose to surround myself with words of all kinds in order to comprehend things. Next, I must ponder them, roll them around in my brain to understand what they mean to me. Once I have captured what emotions are brought up and made them a part of my thinking brain, then I can write about them.

It is incredible to me what comes out because of this non-ending process. Many times the subconscious has a way of burying things for a long time, but then pops up at just the right time to answer questions, give more understanding or reveal something you'd never thought needed resolution. This is why I've loved rediscovering my love of writing. It is an integral part of who I am now. It's helped me reach further inside and tap into depths of myself I never even knew existed.

My Other Babies

Writing pieces for publication is like having children.

Each one I give birth to (write) will be nurtured (reviewed & edited) until it is grown-up (complete). Then I reluctantly let it go out into the world (publish it). My hope is that it is written well enough to have an impact on the world in a positive way.

My descendants (inspired audience) will continue the good that was started with just an idea or brief thought to hopefully make this world a better place. 

May my legacy (my other babies) be remembered well.