Duggar - Keep Digging, I'm Sure There's More

Josh Duggar is in the news again. Who's surprised by this? Not me!

Once again we feel all disgusted with him because he has shown the world that he is not only a child molester, but a cheat and a liar to boot! Add to that, he's a huge hypocrite doing all those sinful things right under the prayerful eyes of his wife and his family. He even admits that. Good for him. And honestly, as soon as the news was confirmed in both instances, good on him for not squirming out of it. He immediately admitted what he had done when he was finally exposed in the mainstream media.

But what else does that tell us about Josh Duggar? He got caught.

He may act as if he is just a fallen sinner and needs back into the good graces of his lord and savior, but in fact, what he actually is just that... caught. And he can't get out of it by hiding anymore.

In fact, it says the same thing about most of the public figures which have a religious bent.  And frankly, to me, this detail is the ONLY reason they fess up. It is because it hit the news cycle in a big way and there's no stepping back from that reality. It's called damage control. They were exposed and now they may be repentant. But it's only because it's now out in the open in all its glorious salaciousness!

How many times do we have to hear in the news what so and so has done after telling the whole world they are better than everyone else? I'm really getting sick and tired of seeing this kind of crap. Almost daily! But yet, me being an atheist - I'm the really nasty character. Right.

Here's an idea - Josh and all you other holier-than-thou types, how about you be brave and tell us now what else we can expect to find hidden in your closet? I'm sure there's so much more. Honestly, I think I would have much more respect for that. I'd really be willing and able to understand you were human and had a failing; we've all been there. But to have your type throwing in my face what a disaster I am for my belief system while you were out there being the lousiest humans ever, it's just unacceptable. Always was... still is.

Here's to the next shoe to drop...

#LOVEWINS #LETHATEDIE

jthughes.blogspot.com

June 26, 2015 is a day we'll not soon forget. It was much too long in getting here, but it ultimately did arrive.  Love won and the majority of this country is just fine with it except...

You'll remember that Rick Scarborough, a Christian political activist, said...

"We are not going to bow. We are not going to bend, and if necessary we will burn." 

He implied things are going to hot for us if the immoral take over and make decisions for the righteous. He's inciting all the followers to rise up and protest in what could possibly end up in the worst case scenario - the lives of those who would like to think they know better, taking all the naughty ones with them.

Say we believed in their alleged god, do you ever wonder what he thinks right about now? Why aren't believers contemplating that instead of them deciding what the next step is? Who left and made them king? No one actually since we are all lowly sinners, people!

And that's my point. If god is the almighty ruler and life flows how he dictates (at least that's what believers keep chanting) then let your god decide what happens to this country for the decisions it's making for the collective.

Don't instigate, stop hating, stop fighting... you'll supposedly get what you deserve in the end anyways right? You'll be living the charmed life in heaven with your pops and the sinners will be down in hell flaming it up with satan. Let god make his appearance to either shit and finally get off the pot to punish us or he doesn't and you're just wrong that gay marriage is the be-all-end-all thing.

Let it go, and leave us in peace. That's all anyone ever wanted... RIGHT?!?!?! 

Pro-Potential Life, But Really Pro-Choice

When I was pregnant with my two children, I was in situations that weren't entirely out of control and I had a mindset of not approving of abortions for myself. For me, the life I helped to create was one I was obligated to bring to term. My first pregnancy, I was invested from a place of love, even though the situation wasn't the greatest. But I believed it was the natural consequence for which I, along with my partner, should take full responsibility for. The second time there was no question we had two fully engaged and loving parents, and we knew we could raise him in a somewhat secure financial situation. Abortion was never a consideration, nor would it ever have been an option as I was so happy to have received the news and knew I would provide the best I could for my children.

But I've always felt that the decision to have an abortion lies with the woman who is about to have one. It is her body, her pregnancy and something that impacts the course of her life, making this her personal choice. She must confront and weigh all the options when making that decision - does she terminate the potential life within her or decide to see it through to the end of her legal responsibility to that imminent child?

I knew a person who, during her lifetime, had three abortions which honestly left me with a negative view of this woman for many years. And it evoked so many questions, ones she never fully nor satisfactorily answered when asked. How does someone let that happen three times, and each time the only option is termination of the pregnancy? How does a grown woman who obviously has the ability to educate herself and use any number of available contraceptive options get pregnant? And when that contraception fails, how does this same woman make that choice to not carry to term the potential life that is a product of her supposedly loving, close relationship with her significant other? Why would she decide to end a potential human being just because she has that option?

Those are questions I have struggled with as a pro-choice person all my life because I also have a tendency to think that if you get pregnant - you carry within you a potential life and it is developing in you because of actions you participated in. We all know that every action has a consequence and that is the part I get hung up on. The phrase You've made your bed, now lie in it comes to mind. But...

Every free woman is guaranteed by Roe V. Wade to make those decisions for herself but on some level to know that many who are supposed to be role models of adulthood would choose to end a potential life, it leaves me feeling sad. How could they make that decision? It is a part of you and the person you chose to be intimate with and probably love! That guided my thinking for a long time.

But then I lived life for many more years and began to look at the situations that many of these women face. The women could be single or married, and are just not able to financially ensure these children would get their basic needs met. Maybe they also endured a poor quality of life and don't want to subject another possible human to those conditions. Many of us know that a life of poverty is not a good place to be, but then the question is, what about the women who can afford to raise a child and still get an abortion?

Their situations could be fraught with emotional and/or physical abuse, the individual who contributed his DNA is in a bad place - unable to be a good parent, abusive, neglectful. Many times, this alone is an agonizing emotional situation that steers a woman to this place of choosing an abortion. Couple that with financial instability, and I can understand now making that choice.

After having had two children myself, I now understand these women could be wrestling with the idea their potential child might end up in a situation being deprived of the emotional security they deserved. As innocents brought into this world without their permission, they require that, at the very least. Babies being deprived of the best offering of loving and nurturing at the start of entering their new life is a set-up for disastrous consequences as they try to maneuver through life. Where would they get the basic foundation of becoming the whole human beings they need to be to enjoy a future quality of life when what they encounter is uncertainty, angst, volatility and deprivation? We would set them on a path of not having a stable sense of themselves or a safe family they could turn to when their future let them down. I understand why women would choose abortion in this case.

I can imagine these scenarios repeat over and over in the heads of women faced with a pregnancy that is not openly welcomed, planned for or even wanted at the time... regardless of the fact they might otherwise embrace a potential life. When they are faced with the reality that their lives are less than optimum, they choose to protect a potential life from having a rather bad one. I can see that now.

Add to this debate rape victims, and you have an even wider pool of reasons to terminate pregnancies. The devastation a woman potentially feels learning she would have to endure more physical evidence of that act of violence perpetrated on her. It would look into her eyes every day. Imagine being reminded of the fear and shame you had to endure at the hands of a maniac? What kind of love are you able to give a child who deserves your love and support but all you can feel is disgust? I would rather her bring a wanted and already loved child into the world.

We would hear the words uttered Every life is precious! The potential life brought into the world pro-lifers are trying to protect will be exposed to more risk factors like poverty and child abuse, are more likely to be dependent on social services, and/or end up in jail. Their lives overall won't be as precious as they'd like you to think. How about they look at that and the cost to this society versus that little clump of cells called a potential life. In reality, this life they want to save was just conceived at the wrong time.

Could a potentially bleak financial and/or emotionally distraught situation turn around in their future? Absolutely, but at the time these pregnant women make these decisions, their current state of being is the only one they can base their decision on. They are assessing their current state of affairs with everything coming in at them from every direction and trying to make the best rational decision. It is an extremely difficult decision to make with all that has to be considered.

But at the end of the day, I hope they answer the question that is most important. What does the potential emerging child deserve if they didn't abort? It deserves a good life filled with love, respect, a quality of life and a loved one with a support system that will do what it can to enrich, enlighten and protect that child. In other words, an innocent who never asked to be born deserves what we all crave and deserve - that potential can translate into a meaningful outcome. That's really what it means to be Pro-Life.

I may be Pro-Potential Life, but I'm still Pro-Choice because it's really not my choice. I'm not the pregnant one. And I'm not the one who has to grieve or feel guilty if they do bring another life into this world whose existence is tainted by the bad this world has to offer.

Hey Indiana! Learn The Definition Of Discrimination

Justin Burlin Pinterest, pinned from wolfysmuse.tumblr.com

The first business of Indiana is publicly stating their beliefs coincide with Governor Mike Pence's beliefs as well. He being the one who recently signed into law the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, a bill designed to actively promote the discrimination of members of the LGBT community.

And of course, this restaurant supports this bill because, you know... god. They wear their religion on their sleeves and the bible tells them so. It didn't take them long to rush to the local media to show exactly how much their religious beliefs mean to them. Me thinks they don't understand how this legitimized discrimination will hurt them in the long run.

Their bigotry and ignorance is glaringly obvious, just watch the video as she can't even understand how their actions and this new law function in reality. Given how she blatantly says she will refuse service based on their religious beliefs, one can see she doesn't understand what the word means.

But that's OK, I guess. When they have to put up the "Going Out Of Business Sale" sign, maybe then they'll understand.

This bill may have been pushed through with the intention and restatement of what they already have a right to and hold dear, but ultimately what it will accomplish is to give those who support this bill the legal right to discriminate against a class of people who make them feel icky. That's it. They'll for sure tell you it's only about upholding their religious beliefs, but marginalizing others because you don't agree with their lifestyle is discrimination. Period.

But we're just supposed to throw out the fact that words have meanings.

dis·crim·i·na·tion

dəˌskriməˈnāSH(ə)n/

noun

1. 1.

   the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, age, or sex.

   "victims of racial discrimination"

   synonyms:

   prejudice, bias, bigotry, intolerance, narrow-mindedness, unfairness,inequity, favoritism, one-sidedness, partisanship

Wake up people... one religion is not more important than the other and if you think it is, you don't understand the basic tenets of our constitution. You have a right to freely practice your religion, but you do not have a right to impose your religion on others. Denying service to someone because of your religious beliefs IS imposing your beliefs on them.

All this new law wants to accomplish is to legitimize discrimination. Propping up religious beliefs as the reason for it is just wrong. Sharia Law, American-style baby! This is what it looks like.

We've come so far with all the states who have legalized gay marriage. To see Indiana pass this law, and do so gleefully, means we are going backwards. Sadly, there are others now trying to follow suit.

It just makes me sick to my stomach that we as a nation can't seem to get on the right page of history.



***Interesting Facebook page of Memories Pizza and be sure to check out the website. The backlash has begun.

****UPDATE: It got ugly quicker than I expected - Memories Pizza is closed for now... maybe permanently.

*****UPDATE 4/2/15:  The GoFundMe page for the owners of Memories Pizza has received donations in excess of $200,000 in support of them sticking to their principles and upholding their faith.

Can't.Have.Sex.Toys.

... as of right now. Yes, the city of Sandy Springs, GA has decided you can't have any. Guess I'll not be moving to Sandy Springs any time soon.

Who in the hell are these people and what in the hell are they thinking when they interject themselves into people's sex lives? Small government at its finest... NOT!

My pleasure and how I go about getting it (unless it actually would harm someone else) is NONE OF YOUR CONCERN!!! What do these flakes not get about private matters?!?

Keep your fingers crossed ladies and gentleman who are supporters of sex toys in the hands of the humans who desire them. We're hoping to find out later this month whether the Sandy Springs ordinance will be struck down as unconstitutional or not. They seem ripe for ridicule if they keep this one on the books. But hopefully it will also be struck down because obviously - what I want to introduce into my sex life is none of your business, assholes!

Let's hope that common sense and reason will prevail, and this prudish ordinance is kicked to the curb. But I'm not going to hold my breath. It would seem the stupid is strong with this city for this ordinance to have been introduced to begin with.

Who Didn't Know This Was Coming?

And yet another 'big name/high level in the atheist', or as I like to call them 'longer in the movement than me' people, has now been named in our movement's Achilles Heel!

Now before every one's hair on the back of their necks starts bristling, keyboard ready and fingers twitching... I'm not saying there isn't a problem. There is if women are being raped, attacked, assaulted - verbally or otherwise, or in any way being demeaned because of their sex. And it should not be tolerated. What I am trying to say is that this is not unique to the atheist community. Women have been on the shit end of the stick when it comes to these issues for thousands of years and are still dealing with them. Slowly, things are changing, but they still face a battle. But had we not had rational people at the helm of some of these major atheist organizations, we wouldn't have seen regulations and guidelines pop up as quickly as they did when allegations began to be leveled. What is different between this country's history within various organizations/movements dealing with women's issues and our atheist community, is atheists have been quicker to address and, in general, been a lot more responsive to the voices of the vocal women (and men)  in this movement.

I could be wrong (and I frequently am), but I haven't seen the problem as wide spread as the chatter on the Interwebs would indicate. Having never personally experienced any bad things happening to me because I'm a woman at an atheist convention is primarily why I say this, but also after getting to know many women in the movement, I've not heard one case of harassment or rape at a convention. Maybe they didn't share their story with me. Or maybe I never had it happen to me because I'm not pretty enough, maybe I'm too old, maybe it's because I'm a tall and strong looking woman, maybe because I usually just go back to my room alone or if I do meet up with people it's in a large crowd or if I'm with someone, he's not a dick. And I'm also not saying with my assessment of why I've never been raped and someone else could be raped or mistreated badly is because they would have to be pretty, young, short and waif-like, like to party, hook up with one guy, or just a bad judge of character and basically asked for it. That's NOT what I'm saying, so don't make that judgment either. I'm speaking strictly from my perspective.

I'm also not being dismissive of any woman's claim of being raped or assaulted. Any crime that is committed should be dealt with quickly and appropriately. Any steps that can be put in place to prevent it from ever happening again should also be implemented. Serious offenses should be taken seriously, period and misogyny should not be tolerated.

Frankly spoken though, all the attention to isolated incidents and certain individuals in our movement gives us a serious bad reputation. Not just from the incidents alone, but the back and forth atheist bashing and 'who's camp are you in?' allegiance atmosphere has created a division that just doesn't make sense to me. Let's not go there, please. It's hard enough to find credibility as intelligent, rational human beings in this religionist dominated country. But now, all eyes are focused on us as if all our atheist men ever do is rape other atheist women and then afterwards we slander the whole male sex in the process when it's just isolated incidents. We're supposed to be the realists, so act like it.

Let's call this what it really is... some men are misogynists, some men are rapists, some are being incredible douche bags and some men who think with their dicks instead of their compassion and brains in a situation that could be complicated by the usage of said appendage - those men are the problem. And again, I think in most situations, conventions or otherwise, the standards and expectations are that men AND women will be respectful of each other. If not, they are dealt with. But let's not demonize ALL men in the process or create an atmosphere where MOST men can't be trusted. That's just unreasonable, and something I thought we atheists weren't.

Utterances

I can't seem to form fully developed sentences about you/us/the time we spend together. They just don't fall out in a neat, well-delivered package... all I come up with are adjectives... breathless, full of passion and without cadence.

"Sex and God" Book Raffle

 

We are celebrating the upcoming

National Sex Day!

Won't you join us on June 9th?

Entries for the raffle will be accepted for Darrel Ray's "Sex and God" Book starting today and will end June 6, 2012 at 9PM EST. The live drawing will be held June 9, 2012 at 9PM EST.

Prizes will be as follows: 

• 1st Place:   A signed copy of Darrel Ray's "Sex and God" Book
                    #11 in the 15 copies held back from the first printing   
• 2nd - 5th Place:   Your choice of one of four different Tezzles

The cost for the entries will be:

•  $1 for 1 Chance
•  $5 for 6 Chances
• $10 for 15 Chances   

Winners will be drawn and broadcast live via Ustream at 9PM EST on June 9, 2012. Details to be announced as it gets closer. The entries will be determined from the donations made to WePay.com account and/or to the Paypal account, printed out and shuffled in a bucket prior to the drawing for all prizes.

It is the responsibility of all entering to provide proper contact information. Winners will be contacted by myself and have 72 hours to respond. If no response is received, a new winner will be drawn and the process repeated until all prizes are claimed (we will only do the live drawing once. In the event of no response from the winners, the subsequent drawings will be done off camera). Redrawn winners will be notified by phone and email.

Winners MUST BE Members of the National Atheist Party having filled out the NAP "Roll Call" and members of their respective State's Chapter. All winners must be at least 18 years of age or older with valid ID.

All NAP members having filled out the "Roll Call" (EXCEPT Executive Board Members) are eligible.

IMPORTANT! We prefer you use the WePay.com donate button, but if you donate through Paypal, PLEASE specify your donation is for the "Sex and God" Book Raffle in the "notes" in order to make sure to be entered!!!

Thank you all very much! Enter often, GOOD LUCK to you and have a SEXY day! :)

Susi Bocks
Executive Assistant to the President/Fundraising Committee Member
National Atheist Party

It's Our Day!

 
It's the anniversary of being wedded to the man who has made my heart go pitter-patter for so many years. I really do love April! All our great first experiences happened during this month - we met, had our first date, awesome sex and then lastly, we got married on this day in April! Sixteen years married and seventeen years together. Amazing! Woo hoo!

My affection for this man has not waned and it's awesome to have a private platform to show him some love publicly. The message is the same every time... I love him, I adore him, and I'm so glad to have this man in my life. :) It's been a wild ride at times, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. Like his shirt says - Life is good! But it's even better because he's in it!

Bridges of Madison County Revisited starring Christopher Hitchens

Image from ReverseShot

The look on her face is exactly how I felt upon awakening.  The movie referenced  above immediately came to mind because of the dream I experienced. Me and Christopher Hitchens torn between doing the right thing or indulging in the fantasy of our togetherness. Deep sigh....

Before all those mind-in-the-gutter people start snickering, this dream was not sexual at all, but it had the potential. What was thrilling was the possibility of sharing space with a brilliant mind, the kind that Hitch possesses. The logic he uses, the passion with which he can translate that logic into words and the sheer brilliance of his argument(s).... oh! need I go on? Of course, I do... In addition to that, the many well-written articles and books that he has shared with us in his lifetime; those all contribute to one hunk of a man! To be a partner to that - wow, that would certainly give me a 'Bridges of Madison County' like dilemma, but don't worry, I wouldn't want to give up my current relationship. Hmmm... Maybe Hitch would indulge me anyway?

There I've said it, I'm attracted to intelligence. Do not fear, my current partner understands my feelings as he is one of those intelligent people. He has seen me swoon over other brilliant minds. He doesn't get the attraction because it is not always a physical attraction, initially. But brilliance is sexy to me! It is not what they look like, it is their intense grasp and understanding of things and their ability to teach; that is what gets my pulse racing. It is not that they are more special than my love, who himself has many pulse racing attributes, but they have the ability to tap into a region of my left brain that happens to light up the animal side of the right. People who can think, reason, understand reality & logic; yes, they are sexy and the packages they inhabit, don't matter.

Now, excuse while I go back to my dream...

Do YOU want to know what's 'Under the Kilt'?!?!?

 I lifted and I looked!

"Under the Kilt" is filled with 12 delicious, well-written erotic stories! Each story has it's own particular flavor and every single one stirred up exquisite mental imagery in my head. The variety of characters and plots were quite creative, always keeping you guessing where the next story would lead you. All were entertaining and each story certainly had the power to put you in the mood! For those of you who enjoy really good creative erotica combined with a fluid writing style... take a peek... it is well worth the time!

You'll enjoy going from one story to the next as they are wonderfully entertaining, written with genuine humor, wildly descriptive erotic scenery, and with words that will fill your senses to the degree that you feel as if you were right there experiencing everything right along with the characters. Every story with its rich detail made me feel like a voyeur! Each story line is so much different than the last and the tone of each one leaves you feeling a different experience. Add to that, the writing is easy to follow, engaging and hard to put down. It's been a pleasure!

What a treat it would be if Tiger's Tale, Later Days Saints and Mutated States of America would be made into short films... I'm waiting Kilt! :)

What is wrong with Wasilla?

How people think really boggles my mind sometimes. An article, written by a pastor in Wasilla, AK back in July, caught my eye and my knee-jerk reaction's attention. 

On behalf of women and as a woman myself, I couldn't help myself and responded to his statements. As one who doesn't believe in religion but also, as one who strongly believes that women are not chattel.

I emailed my response directly to him. 

Pastor Hamman -

I recently read an article you posted in the Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman about spousal rape. 

There were a few things things that stood out for me and I wanted to address them with you. Since you put yourself out there with an opinion, I hope that you would listen to mine. Your response and rebuttal would be welcomed. Please keep in mind, I know nothing about the Lara Logan controversy that prompted you to write these piece. I am only commenting on what you have written.

I do understand that, being a pastor, you must look at this issue from the context of the bible, but the tone of your piece only assumes that a) women will lie and b) the reason spousal rape occurs is that women just withhold sex. So, then it's only the woman's fault and basically asked for it? Can you honestly defend that opinion when there is so much evidence against it whether in the context of a marriage or outside of it? This would be my first unfavorable opinion of your assessment. It's like you don't even leave open the possibility that men are mistreating the women and that the women are actually victims at times. I would agree that people lie, we do need credible witnesses to verify events, but many times there is physical evidence and prior behaviors that will support a woman's allegations. Sadly, many times women, because of the very edict you mentioned, don't even report the mistreatment. Again, your blanket statements that it seems to just be women who are denying the husbands release is the only thing to blame. How does that tie into the whole theme that we should only have sex to create children? Your arguments seem to only go to defending a man's desire as supreme and not god's will. So, not only are you seeming to come off like a misogynist, but you are also usurping god's authority by making a man's sex drive the important issue.

Next, the very definition of rape is that it is one of abusing another person. Intercourse should be an expression of love coupled with sexual desire for the other person. In a context of marriage, it is a beautiful and sacred thing. If a husband's wishes are denied, him taking his wife by force changes the act from one of love and desire to one of control and desire. It isn't even about desire anymore, it's about power. Power over another human being. Do you honestly think that is okay, even in the context of scripture?

Being a pastor, I can see why you might defend and still stand by your statements because a woman deserving getting raped by her husband is no different than the control your god has over you. You are just paying it forward. I truly hope that the women you pastor to in Wasilla can recognize that's all it ever seems to be about... power and control. And if that's all it is about, shame on the men who do vile things and stand behind their religion as an excuse and really, shame on you for furthering this ideology.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and if I have misunderstood anything in your piece, please feel free to correct that assumption. I would love to be wrong on this.


Do you think he will reply?

***UPDATE - He did!  Thursday, August 11, 2011 3:50 PM

Ms. Bocks,

There are indeed things that need to be clarified.

First of all, most people are missing the first part in which I bring forward an allegation against every pastor in the state of Alaska, that they are covering up the issue of spousal rape.  This allegation was brought against me by a female reverend, who told me that I needed to repent for statements I made with regard to Lara Logan, which basically I condemned her being gang raped by a multitude of Muslim men, and my assertion that Christians don't do this.

This so incited this woman that not only did she call several times and talk with my secretary, who defended what I said, but she also emailed me a copy of her complaint to the governor's office.

The very face of her allegation is very false, as I mentioned that I had never had any woman come to me with such an allegation, ever.  And in the ministry circles that I run in, I have never had any of these allegations voiced to me by any other pastor.

This is the crux of the matter, and without it, all the rest is just spin, and has been spun out of control into the violation of the ninth commandment, bearing false witness.  Quite simply, I have condemned rape, and will continue to condemn rape.

But there is a problem with the term "spousal rape"; actually, there are two:  1)  truth; and 2)  obligation.

Where it comes to truth, the marriage relationship is such that evidence for intercourse can also be construed as evidence of rape.  Barring any other evidence, such as bruising and physical trauma, the relationship is such that as a rule, it will come down to one's word against the other:  he said, she said.

While not all women will lie, there are those who do.  Lying is simply an offshoot of bearing false witness, and the propensity to lie is not exclusive to one gender or the other -- both do it with great frequency.  One police officer verified the difficulty with this, and even cited a case he was involved in and had to testify on.  The trouble is not only within marriage, but as our society's morals have loosened, many men counter with the allegation that the sex was consensual.

The Biblical guideline is for 2-3 witnesses, and from a Christian perspective, this is tantamount.  To allow the testimony of one voice to convict another for any crime is to stray from the precepts of scripture, a perspective that is portrayed in the lukewarmness of the church of the Laodiceans in that they were drifting from Christ literally in their relationship, even as their hot springs aqueduct cooled the mineral springs the further from the source it traveled.

While it may seem reasonable to allow the exclusive testimony of one woman to convict a man of rape, the fact is that this is unbiblical and has led vindictive women to falsely accuse men.

Please understand that I am not saying that this does not happen, but there are problems with the term with respect to truth.

I believe it was out of Poor Richard's Almanac that we get the phrase "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."  Truthfully, allowing one lone witness to convict and sentence is a pound of cure.  While there are problems between husbands and wives in our society, we are not going to solve them after marriage.  If the case of spousal rape is true, and that is an "if", then its prevention was missed prior to wedlock.

Let's think about this for a moment.  The average girl today knows nothing of modesty.  Modern styles promote the exposure of thighs, cleavage and midriffs, to say the least.  Generally, clothes are worn too tight, and often body part appear on the verge of "falling out" whether it is of the pants or a low cut top.

I realize that many girls do this to attract male attention, but the problem is that they attract lustful male attention.  I have 6 daughters, and I have told them often that what a man gets for free is cheap.  A man values what he earns, and truth be told, if he gets a free glimpse, he knows he can probably get a free feel, then more glimpse, then more feel, etc, etc.  You know where this goes.  While the girl might not have intended it to go so far, she started the endeavor by giving the first glimpse "for free".

Virginity used to be valued and the rule till the marriage bed on the wedding night, but not any more.  The true answer to this dilemma is not in trying to solve the marital problems after the fact, but before.  But how many churches do you know of that are promoting this type of thing?  And though our governor professes Christianity, do you hear this from him?  Of course not, because this issue has been politicized and he is cashing in on it.  But it is the ounce of prevention that we should look to in solving whatever marital issues there are in America today.

Secondly, there is the issue of obligation.  In marriage, the biblical precept is that one's body becomes the exclusive property of one's spouse, both male and female.  This is the basis for adultery, for adultery is the taking of someone else' property and giving it to another.  In the case of an errant husband, it is the giving of what belongs to his wife to another woman, and vice versa for the wife.

I know not where you stand with respect to Christianity, but marriage really only comes out of the Bible.  If you are opposed to things such as homosexual marriage, it can only be because there are biblical prohibitions against it.  While modern society wants to float the idea that a woman's body belongs to herself as long as she lives, biblically speaking, this philosophy flies in the face of God.

Getting back to the first issue, that of pastors being guilty of covering spousal rape up, the only way the allegation can be made is to side step this issue here so that a wife is allowed to control her husband by withholding herself.

While you can speak of a husband having intercourse as being aberrant and controlling if the wife wishes otherwise, the other side of that coin is that the wife becomes controlling by refusal.

The whole spirit of I Corinthians 7 is for there to be peace within marriage.  And though the Apostle Paul had the gift of celibacy and did not require a wife, he also recognized that not all men could be as he.  While the physical drives differ within each gender, from what I have seen and heard, the male has the predominantly stronger drive.  This is why female pornography grosses far more money than that of male pornography.

Again, here is where the ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, again.  What every young woman needs to be told by older women is that it is completely normal, wholesome, and biblical to have sex often, even multiple times daily, outside of the menstrual period, the biblical time of mandated abstinence.  It has been said that the devil wants us to have all the sex we can get before marriage, and as little as possible afterwards; this needs to be reversed.

While you might chalk this up to women being baby machines, the truth is that woman was created out of and for man, and in the relationship of marriage, if she wants to be pleasing to God, she needs to give herself to her husband.  There really is no such thing as having sex just to create children; children are the byproduct of the union between husband and wife, the relationship being the primary and the byproduct being the secondary.  Women need to enjoy intercourse with their husbands.

What people need to understand is that sex within marriage is not only honorable, per holy writ, but it is also designed to defend against fornication and adultery.  Two people don't get married just so they can have sex, but once married, abstinence is only to be had with the consent of the other spouse; this is what the Bible says.  Thus, if the woman doesn't want to, but the husband does, she is supposed to willingly engage.

While many in our day are going to speak of a man "respecting" his wife enough to respect her wishes in this regard, this, too, is an unbiblical position.  Respect is never asked of parents toward children in the Bible, but children are commanded to honor and obey their parents (5th commandment).  In like fashion, husbands are told to love their wives as their own bodies, but wives are told to reverence (a word much stronger than just respect) their husbands.  The reason why men mistreat their wives is that they don't love them as they should, but the reason why a woman will not have sex with her husband outside of being sick or her menses is because she has no respect for him. 

My point in talking about a wife's obligation to her husband, and that her body belongs to him, is that our society it totally unbiblical when it comes to a wife's response to her husband.  Marriage is a big commitment and God wants it to be a sacred institution.  The allegation of the prevalence of spousal rape can only be made with a misunderstanding of what the Bible says about marriage, and the woman's part in it sexually.

Again, I am not saying that there is no such thing, but the issue of spousal rape must be carefully defined.  Coming from the "Christian" world, biblical considerations must be addressed. 

Sincerely,

Pastor Ron Hamman


First off, I have to say that I didn't think he would, but the response I got... yeah, expected that.

**UPDATE - My Reply  8/11/2011 04:08 PM

Pastor Hamman -

Thank you for your response. As I stated, my email to you was in response to your comments only. Your clarification doesn't change what I was commenting on and it certainly doesn't explain away what I believe the reality of your comments speak to. If anything, it just supports my contention.

I've been married for 16 years, have 2 children and have, in both areas, lived my life as an atheist and a skeptic. The biblical references you cite to support your position would be expected, but none-the-less, not something I'm in agreement with. All those things that you see as wrong - premarital sex, a woman's right to say no, inappropriate (in your opinion) dress - are things that I personally have participated in, but none of the things that you say would be consequences of it have happened.

As I said in my original email, I realize that you are a pastor and must live your life through those glasses, saying anything different than what scripture would support couldn't be an option for you. This response isn't any different than what I would have expected.

Personally, I hope that the women of Wasilla are smarter than that.

**UPDATE - His Reply  Friday, August 12, 2011 8:22 AM

Ms. Bocks,

As I said, I did not know your position with regard to Christianity, so I am not surprised with your response now knowing you are an atheist.  Sadly, the day will come when you will agree with me, but that day will be too late.

Sincerely,

Pastor Ron Hamman
ewwwww... always love the indignant response of 'You're wrong and I'm right, so there!'  LOL  I'm shaking in my boots and I guess he's praying for me right now.

Still raging about the hypocrisy of religion

Recently, I was enjoying reading the May edition of Freethought Today, but then I came across the "Black Collar Crime Blotter" which totally turned my stomach and sent my blood pressure sky-high because of the many, many cases of sexual abuse involving children. To give you some perspective, it was approximately two and half newspaper-sized pages filled with local, national and international incidents of arrested/charged, civil lawsuits filed & settled, legal developments, allegations made, removed/resigned instances, pleaded/convicted & sentenced individuals. It covered a wide spectrum of criminal activity - rape, assault, breaking & entering, embezzlement, fraud, kidnapping, etc. The predominant crimes were sexual in nature and again, many of the offenses occurred primarily with children.

With the child abuse issue, I'm hopeful that the eventual demise of religion will also bring an end to the ongoing assault on the innocent children who are raped and molested by the clergy that have a predilection for easily overpowered children they use as sex toys. As much notoriety as this subject has received over these last few years though, it certainly doesn't seem to have abated. This continues to be a issue for me that grates deep in my soul with each new story that I come across. The lost innocence of those children prohibits them from experiencing what was supposed to be a happy time in their lives; childhood years they deserved and needed to become healthy, vibrant adults.

It is infuriating to see the the acts committed against children but also, the wide range of criminal offenses committed by these people who claim to be beholden to a higher standard! A standard, I might add, that certain people of faith hold us in contempt for because we choose not to believe in the imaginary guy in the sky. I know I already went off on my recent blog about the hypocrisy of religion, but seeing this Crime Blotter shows me, once again, they are nothing what they claim to be; but we, the atheists, are the bad guys in their eyes! It just pisses me off!!! How about you good christianists clean up your own house before you malign others?

In a perfect world, there is no religion, there is no hate, there is no crime, and everybody just lives a happy, comfortable life. I'd settle for one where people just stop acting as if they were better than everybody else, but in reality, are lower than the scum that sticks to my shoes.

Oh, who am I kidding? I want the perfect world.

I'd like a little honesty with that Weiner, please...

Anthony Weiner showed us that he has a sexual side. Some may say he's a deviant and wrong because he sexted it. He accidentally let all his followers know of his erect status instead of just the one intended person. And as the days go by we find out that it goes much further than that. What more will be brought to light is anybodies guess, but frankly, I couldn't care less. However he needs to get off is his business... well, his and his wife's, actually. They, really, are the only two people this should involve.

I don't think what he did was deviant or wrong, it just is. It's his private life and how he chooses to live it, doesn't concern me. Just as I wouldn't expect anybody to care about what goes on in my bedroom, I really don't care what goes on in his. However, the media does... well, maybe not mine, but certainly Mr. Weiner's and now he's got a whole big mess to deal with because of it.

His ordeal is something I wouldn't wish on anybody, but unfortunately, when you are a public figure, everything comes under scrutiny and judgment. The question is... does he deserve all this though? I firmly believe the tweet part and his sex-capades are his business and should not have warranted all the press or calls for resignation.  Especially if it turns out this has really all been done privately. For lying directly to all our faces and seriously thinking that we would just swallow those lies; there he has crossed a line that puts him in the 'untrustworthy as a representative' category and for that, he does deserve this attention. And frankly, I don't feel sorry for him. He had an opportunity to come clean and he chose to be an idiot about it.

As difficult or as embarrassing as it may have seemed at the time when the tweet originally went out, I really think he could have changed the discussion from 'what's he trying to hide?' to 'how about a little respect for my privacy?' had he only been honest to begin with. He could have possibly become the first politician to just admit to an oops! and say "Yeah, that's my crotch. Beauty, ain't it? By the way, it was done on my time and it's my business." At the very least, it would have been brushed off as a joke and he would have successfully beat the Breitbart's of the world to the punchline and diffused this whole situation.

The discussion would then have been about his right to privacy versus him being an out and not so proud liar, in addition to the private details of his sex life. He still may be a deviant to some, but at least his integrity would still be intact. Well, maybe not even that, considering the attitude of  some people. I speak of the crowd that considers anything to do with sex as immoral if it occurs outside of procreation.They seem to go all besides themselves whenever it happens otherwise. I think deep down it's a cover-up for jealousy, but that's another topic.

I would have had so much respect for the man, had he done that. And I believe, many other citizens across this country would have appreciated it as well. Hell, he might have even started a trend of having honesty put back into a place that sorely needs it. Wouldn't that be something? People who are serious about their politics would perk up their ears, that's for sure. "What? A new brand of politician? He's honest, you say?"

Let me think on that fantasy for a moment. One of a Senate and House of Representatives full of honest officials, representing us and what is in the best interest of this country; and one where their sex lives are nobodies business but theirs. I'm savoring it...Because reality will set in much too soon.