Who Didn't Know This Was Coming?

And yet another 'big name/high level in the atheist', or as I like to call them 'longer in the movement than me' people, has now been named in our movement's Achilles Heel!

Now before every one's hair on the back of their necks starts bristling, keyboard ready and fingers twitching... I'm not saying there isn't a problem. There is if women are being raped, attacked, assaulted - verbally or otherwise, or in any way being demeaned because of their sex. And it should not be tolerated. What I am trying to say is that this is not unique to the atheist community. Women have been on the shit end of the stick when it comes to these issues for thousands of years and are still dealing with them. Slowly, things are changing, but they still face a battle. But had we not had rational people at the helm of some of these major atheist organizations, we wouldn't have seen regulations and guidelines pop up as quickly as they did when allegations began to be leveled. What is different between this country's history within various organizations/movements dealing with women's issues and our atheist community, is atheists have been quicker to address and, in general, been a lot more responsive to the voices of the vocal women (and men)  in this movement.

I could be wrong (and I frequently am), but I haven't seen the problem as wide spread as the chatter on the Interwebs would indicate. Having never personally experienced any bad things happening to me because I'm a woman at an atheist convention is primarily why I say this, but also after getting to know many women in the movement, I've not heard one case of harassment or rape at a convention. Maybe they didn't share their story with me. Or maybe I never had it happen to me because I'm not pretty enough, maybe I'm too old, maybe it's because I'm a tall and strong looking woman, maybe because I usually just go back to my room alone or if I do meet up with people it's in a large crowd or if I'm with someone, he's not a dick. And I'm also not saying with my assessment of why I've never been raped and someone else could be raped or mistreated badly is because they would have to be pretty, young, short and waif-like, like to party, hook up with one guy, or just a bad judge of character and basically asked for it. That's NOT what I'm saying, so don't make that judgment either. I'm speaking strictly from my perspective.

I'm also not being dismissive of any woman's claim of being raped or assaulted. Any crime that is committed should be dealt with quickly and appropriately. Any steps that can be put in place to prevent it from ever happening again should also be implemented. Serious offenses should be taken seriously, period and misogyny should not be tolerated.

Frankly spoken though, all the attention to isolated incidents and certain individuals in our movement gives us a serious bad reputation. Not just from the incidents alone, but the back and forth atheist bashing and 'who's camp are you in?' allegiance atmosphere has created a division that just doesn't make sense to me. Let's not go there, please. It's hard enough to find credibility as intelligent, rational human beings in this religionist dominated country. But now, all eyes are focused on us as if all our atheist men ever do is rape other atheist women and then afterwards we slander the whole male sex in the process when it's just isolated incidents. We're supposed to be the realists, so act like it.

Let's call this what it really is... some men are misogynists, some men are rapists, some are being incredible douche bags and some men who think with their dicks instead of their compassion and brains in a situation that could be complicated by the usage of said appendage - those men are the problem. And again, I think in most situations, conventions or otherwise, the standards and expectations are that men AND women will be respectful of each other. If not, they are dealt with. But let's not demonize ALL men in the process or create an atmosphere where MOST men can't be trusted. That's just unreasonable, and something I thought we atheists weren't.

Read, Think, Write

READ

THINK

WRITE

In that order, that is my formula.

I choose to surround myself with words of all kinds in order to comprehend things. Next, I must ponder them, roll them around in my brain to understand what they mean to me. Once I have captured what emotions are brought up and made them a part of my thinking brain, then I can write about them.

It is incredible to me what comes out because of this non-ending process. Many times the subconscious has a way of burying things for a long time, but then pops up at just the right time to answer questions, give more understanding or reveal something you'd never thought needed resolution. This is why I've loved rediscovering my love of writing. It is an integral part of who I am now. It's helped me reach further inside and tap into depths of myself I never even knew existed.

Heroes, Schmeroes

I don't have any heroes.

Being a hero implies somehow they are better human beings because they might have more courage or ability than the average person. They get put on a pedestal for an act of courage or how they live their lives. They make hero-worshippers out of us, setting themselves up to be better than we are. I have a problem with this. No one is better than any other person just due to some accomplishment. We all have value, it just shows up in different ways.

We elevate these people to a different status as if they were more special than we are. They aren't. They just possess skills we may not have and do things we might not do; it sets them apart from us, but doesn't indicate they are better people for it.

Can we feel grateful they might have more courage or a different skill set or insight? Absolutely. But I would hope that knowing these people who are different and who do things contrary to our ways would be more of an inspiration to learn something new from rather than someone to idolize and just make you say to yourself "Awww, shucks... I wish I was more like her/him.  :/ " Screw being like them! Be proud of your own skills. Are they different? WHO CARES?!?!?! More than likely there are things that you can do that Mr./Mrs. Hero CAN'T do!

Heroes tend to make everyone feel smaller than they are, maybe not intentionally, but it happens. We are not less than them. Remember that. Heroes sometimes reinforce that mantra "I'm better than you because of what I did or who I am." We've all somehow come to believe this. Who wins when we are looking down on those who would look up to the heroes? Nobody.

I don't have any heroes, but I have lots of people I can learn from. The ones I look up to the most are those who would deliberately use their skills, attitudes and courage as an example for all of us to take part in, then share and give more of themselves in that process. They are role models, not heroes. They don't want to be heroes, they just want to be catalysts for change, for progress and for justice.

Let's grow more of them instead.

Aim For Smiles

"Purpose is a man-made fiction. Nobody on their deathbed gets a plaque that says “he focused on only one thing for his entire life!” Those are counterfeit thoughts in a counterfeit society."

 James Altucher

Plants and animals have a purpose - they survive to be part of the food chain. They are driven by instinct to accomplish that which drives them. We don't have one.

We have consciousness, and instinct to maintain our position at the top of the food chain, but we differ in that we can have a life where we dictate what will bring us pleasure and avoid that which brings us struggle. 

We can decide to do things... or not. Animals and plants only choice is to follow their basic instincts.

There is no purpose for your short life - just enjoy it every step of the way. And smile... as much as you can.

Screaming...

• Matches the intensity of physical pain with a deep guttural response. When the hurt is so too much to contain, the excruciating waves feel like they have to come out of my body. Screaming eases it by taking the edge off; the damage caused to the inside feels lessened.

• Exorcises the rage when I'm mad. If I don't, my insides will explode.

• Is a must when I'm exposed to the stupidity of people on the TV/the computer/in my car. 

• Happens mostly when I'm hiding from the world. They can't know my pain yet.

• Stops the brutality I see inflicted on others. I've been lucky not to witness much personally.

• Keeps me from inflicting brutality when I'm exposed to stupidity, in any form. That seems to happen more often lately.

• Is a release. It's only temporary though.

So... I really want to stop screaming.

Silence Isn't Golden

When a person willingly puts the mute button on a conversation in order to avoid conflict, how in the fuck does that help the relationship? Communication is key, right?

One of my favorite lines is "Yes... No... Kiss my ass?" when I don't get feedback during a conversation, whether with a loved one or a friend. If I'm actively engaged with you in a mutually beneficial relationship, then please stop frustrating me when we are talking! It's like they either don't want to talk, won't answer questions or try to avoid what they think is about to come next. Arghh!

You've guessed it... I'm a talker. Especially when it's required, but also in casual conversation. I like to talk in general, yes, but specifically when it comes time to resolution of things. Shutting down is not an option for me. When I have something to say, I say it. Sometimes a bit blunt and direct, but always making the effort to communicate what is important. I expect the same in return.

I've had it with those moments when the silence enters the atmosphere when there should be sound. It's like a chilliness in an already cold room. Silence makes matters worse. How can things be solved when there is no communication?

I know when I was younger I literally shut down and walked away from conversations. Actually on many occasions. But that was before I understood that talking about problems, or anything for that matter, was important in order to have and maintain a good relationship. Perhaps the lack of communication is just a symptom of the real problem - immaturity?

The older I get, the more I enjoy engaging with people who will verbalize their thoughts and feelings honestly. The clock is ticking and I'll be damned if I waste anymore time waiting for the words to fall out of their mouths. Grow the hell up and learn to talk about what's going on in your head, people! I've really got better things to do than wait around till you feel more comfortable. I'd much rather be here, fully connected with you and making the relationship stronger and better because that's all talking openly and honestly really is... it's about fixing what makes you uncomfortable to begin with.

Feeling Misjudged?

As someone who has come to the conclusion that the label atheist is the best descriptor for my thought process about the whole religion/god thing, I can say I've been frequently misjudged as a person because of it.

It can be frustrating to be the recipient of that judgement. Sometimes you lose friends and have to embrace a different social circumstance, but I wouldn't trade it up for the world at this point. Not being afraid of people because I happen to possess a different opinion and having the ability to think things through for myself continues to strengthen my resolve in the face of their judgement. My hope is that all who don't fall in line with a religious mind-set would feel their own strength and combat this judgment at every turn.

Take a second to watch this video. I have to say I loved this video. It went to the extreme end of negative assumptions; really dark examples of what we are to those who would judge those of us identifying as atheists. Obviously, the take-away is that it's a parody, but my guess is there are people who really want to believe that atheists are what is represented in here.

  

My point would be, if you're feeling misjudged, join the crowd. We've all felt it, but don't let it get you down. Just remember to keep showing those who would malign us, publicly or privately, they are full of shit. Be better than their worst judgment about us. Create and enjoy your life, however you decide it works for you.

Those that judge will never stop until some epiphany occurs and maybe not even then; who knows what keeps them from accepting reality. Let those people believe whatever they want to believe. Remember, beliefs are just that... unsubstantiated thoughts. Look at what they accept - a silly book and magic man in the sky - that alone tells us their thought process is whacked. So if they want to believe bad stuff about you that isn't true, it's just as whacked. And not worth paying attention to or giving any consideration beyond laughing at them. 

What does their book say? Matthew 7:1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged."

Treat them better than they have ever deserved and show them how it's done.

Have Pistis!

I can't...

it's silly. Period.

Inundated With Churches

Reading our local paper led me to the church directory or what I call it... the Simply Divine Page. Obviously not, for those who know me, but I try to add humor in every situation.

The directory, along with the twenty-five local company ads, listed a total of sixty-four different churches in the surrounding towns. Understandably, the town closest to us with the largest population also had the highest number of churches. With a bigger population, it is understandable there would be a larger diversity in the population and seeing how there are roughly three hundred ten+ different religions, we can expect that we would have a greater diversity in churches as well, but I still would never have expected thirty seven different churches in this still relatively small town. The population is only approximately sixteen thousand inhabitants. Thirty seven - Really? So for every four hundred thirty-two people, there's a church for you.

Churches will claim 44% of the population, on average, will attend church once or more times per week. That would mean the thirty seven churches would enjoy around one hundred ninety people attending each week. But in reality, only 17.7%  are checking their butts into the pews on a weekly basis. So what we are really looking at is these thirty seven churches, on average, will have about seventy-seven people attend their services on Sundays and that's really only the popular ones. The heads of those companies placing those ads are more than likely many of those attendees. They'll see the inside of the church more than the average guy would, right alongside those families needing to prove they're something in that town. But I digress, the shallowness of some people is another blog waiting to be written.

It hardly seems worth opening the doors for seventy-seven people. That was my first thought knowing church attendance has been declining and will continue to do so as our nation becomes more secular. Why would we have so many churches when less and less people are showing up? Maybe they should consolidate like schools. Saves costs, boosts numbers... why not? Seems practical enough to me.

The obvious reason they won't though is because each church is different. For each denomination or faction there is a different vibe about it or what is to be believed about their god is a titch different than the next church. The traditions or rituals in each church are different, too. Hmmmm... why would that be? Because the ONE TRUE WORD of god really isn't... obviously! I often ask myself why those selecting a religion don't ever think about just that one sticking point. One book is supposedly the only guide, but why then so many fucking editions AND interpretations?!? When will believers realize that humans wrote that book and humans are explaining that book? That alone should have sent them in the direction of understanding the history of the bible. And then maybe, hopefully, even more research as to the actual validity of that book.

I'm guessing most won't dare question what they have been brought up with. Especially those that have dug even deeper into their religion due to community pressures to assimilate; they will never venture out and do the research. I feel sad that they won't think for themselves and remain locked up in a system that will only do its best to retain rather than educate.

As long as questioning is deemed sinful behavior or problematic for the elders to deal with, this is the reason the doors will remain open. Even if they only have a handful of people showing up. When that handful can't support the salary of the clergy or make the rent, only then will those doors finally close.

It will be interesting to see how soon that will happen. All the indications look promising. The younger generation is leading the charge to change things up. And hopefully shut things down... like churches. We've simply got too many of them. Really...



 *For those who like facts and figures, click here for more great information. I'm an information whore so I spent a considerable amount of time there absorbing the numbers. Fascinating.

I Don't Understand... So God.

Can’t recall the exact wording, but the gist of a recent meme was that thinking was preferable to believing. Yeah, I’d whole-heartedly agree with that. Using your brain to understand seems like a much more viable option than just accepting a belief about something you don’t understand. Taking something on faith without further investigation seems lazy to me… and foolish.

https://www.facebook.com/Pass28thAmendment

Some would scream “But how can you not believe after the majesty you see before you?”  That is so easy to answer… I don’t get all ga-ga for bullshit. Fully researching and questioning, not just listening to your gut or your 'this feels good' moments, that is what I do before I can form an opinion. And believe what exactly? That just because there is a vast, incredible, still not fully understood universe unfolding with all its mysteries then it automatically translates into god being the only reason for it? Yeah… right… it could only be because of a god. There couldn’t possibly be any other explanation. *insert sarcasm here

It seems incredible to me that anyone would just automatically consider a god as an option when there isn’t any evidence for one. Yes, I know, they think that the existence of life, the consciousness we all experience and the shock and awesomeness of this universe defaults to a position that only a god could have summoned it into existence. But the Big Bang Theory is an impossibility when this god could be the explanation for doing the exact same thing. SMH

Either they don’t understand or can’t/don’t want to understand the more difficult concepts of our existence. Hell, even I don’t understand it all, but I don’t just put my hands up to the sky and say “Oh great one!” In the end, it only just means that I don’t understand everything, some other people know a little more and in reality, there’s still a shit ton more that we don’t or will ever know. And that’s OK.

What is fascinating to watch unfold before us is that the more we know, the more the whole concept of giving it all up to god makes even less sense. Bit by bit we answer life's mysteries and questions and god doesn't even remotely begin to figure into it. Believers don’t seem to grasp that fact, even as they watch their congregations thin out.

The idea of a god made sense in the beginning when there was little understanding of the natural world, but not anymore. Every little bit of information that leads us to more definite conclusions about things, takes god one step further away from being the answer to the original question(s). Why can they not grasp that?

Life is fascinating, amazing, wondrous and teaches us something every day…. Why fill it with something unbelievable and limiting?