Being mature means having the ability to honestly reflect on one's behavior, understand the mistakes you have made and empathize with those who were the recipients of your harmful actions.
Wisdom is gained when you take personal responsibility for those mistakes and your ability to not repeat them means your maturity level rises exponentially.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Happy Never Lets Go of You
When I'm feeling the pressures of adulthood, I sometimes recall that time period of my life and reflect on it with a twinge of disappointment; why couldn't time just have stood still for me? Life and the things that get thrown at me in my present, make me wish for that time again when 'taking care of responsibilities' isn't in my vocabulary. All I was really responsible for was enjoying every day as it made itself known to me.
For the most part, those youthful days were filled with learning, friendship, playing, laughing, giggling and tons of new discoveries. The occasional sickness or fight with friends came up, but it was still not a deterrent from enjoying what came my way. It seemed that I slid easily into that role of happy back then.
Feeling happiness didn't change for many years. Inevitably, there would be days that just weren't that amazing, but still, happiness or what I thought it was stayed within the realm of my reach. Looking back, I'd have to say that a definite shift occurred around my mid-twenties, making happiness seem elusive at times and sometimes, non-existent. Sadly, there were even extended periods in my thirties and up through my mid-forties when I didn't think I'd ever be happy again. Don't get me wrong, I had fun during those years, but didn't have a feeling of energy, enthusiasm, a sense of adventure or revel in happiness as I did when I was much younger. It seemed like the uphill loop of feeling good wasn't quite sure how to catch the wave and get higher to reach those moments of joy. It stayed flat and felt like life was as good as it was going to get.
I'm now approaching fifty and have to say that I've had an extended period of experiencing happiness since my mid-forties. There have been and are still continual tests that would try to rid me of experiencing those satisfaction producing moments of my current life. Physically, I think hormones play a great deal in how we feel or react to the good and bad in life. But, it certainly doesn't address everything. From my experiences, the differences between now and past moments is partly due to the internal self-discovery that doesn't really happen on a conscious level when you are younger. Now, I'm fairly settled and in a centered place. Before, when I was younger, I was just reacting, doing, surviving, struggling to make sense of everything.
I think the older I get I discover that the things I just spontaneously enjoyed and took for granted - energy, enthusiasm, a sense of adventure - those are things that we don't lose, we just lose a desire for when faced with responsibilities, hardships and realities that are too much to handle. We quite possibly feel that indulging in them would take us away from those things that need addressing at that moment. Probably, the loudest thing resonating in my head was 'You're a grown-up now, it's not about having fun.'
What I've found, though, is that the happiness I feel now is no different than what I experienced as a child. It came back to me, a sort of awakening to it because my life changed again. Responsibilities are ever present, but my focus now is on my own satisfaction in conjunction with my present life. Happiness didn't elude me then because I was diligently focusing my attention on what I wanted to wrap myself in just for the sake of undertaking it. Knowing what it would feel like, what I would learn and how it would fit to me; that is what brought me happiness. I made choices for me, rather than having life determine what choices needed to be made. When my happiness level was at its lowest, I was in the highest state of reaction rather than action.
The happiness I experience now is a welcomed, old familiar feeling. Living life in a fully conscious state of putting one foot in front of the other in the fashion of my choosing has meant everything to me. It gives me all those things from my youth that I thought were missing, but most importantly, I feel happy most of the time even in the face of events that might cause issues for me. I'm back to feeling something that for many years just felt watered-down.
Interestingly, when I was younger I was also much more physically active. One could say that it contributed to the feelings of happiness, but it's different somehow. When I experience the energy, it is a feeling of strength and determination regardless of the physical state. The enthusiasm displays itself not only for wanting to selfishly experience things, but also, I feel an outward enthusiasm that makes me want to bring everyone on board with me. The sense of adventure that I feel is not only from my eyes being open, as before, but because my heart and my mind are now more open, too. I want to engage everyone to be a part of it, to go with me wherever that adventure may take me. This is the key difference, I think, to the level of conscious happiness that I now experience. Being fully focused on what is my next step and having made sure that all the connections I have in this world be a part of that adventure, ensures that I will experience the rest of my life in a state that can't be described in any other way than being happy.
Isn't being happy all we've ever wanted? We just have to remember that it's always waiting to be rediscovered and accepting the fact that we are really the only ones that are in charge of that.
Monday, December 5, 2011
"It Spoke to Me" and I Must Post It
Philippians 4:6-7 New International Version (NIV)
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Tonight I saw a status update on Facebook that I would term "shorthand for jesus-speak." Many times, and I've done this myself, Facebook fans feel the need to post things slightly coded but not really indecipherable. Because I happen to have christians as friends I do get the religious posts occasionally. The most recent 'Phil 4 6-7' was easy enough to figure out. I don't get many, that's perfectly all right. I'm always up for learning something new.
Spoiler alert - I didn't. What I understand is first, don't be anxious. Meaning - god's got this, so no worries. Second, but even if you're paying attention to the first part of not worrying, you should still pray and petition (gratefully) your lord and savior what you're totally not acting worried about. And then it goes on to say itself that it makes absolutely no sense what-so-ever, but then you will feel at peace because you did.
I've attempted to wrap my mind around this many different ways, tried not to be insulting in my thought process, but each time I come back to WTF?
Why would you need to keep praying and petitioning when the man says he's got this? And from a rational perspective, why would you worry anyway? You can't change things, they are what they are.
These kinds of things make me glad that I don't believe in the irrational. My life is simpler and easier for me because I've got my head firmly planted in reality. I worry about those who don't. :) Nah, not really.
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Tonight I saw a status update on Facebook that I would term "shorthand for jesus-speak." Many times, and I've done this myself, Facebook fans feel the need to post things slightly coded but not really indecipherable. Because I happen to have christians as friends I do get the religious posts occasionally. The most recent 'Phil 4 6-7' was easy enough to figure out. I don't get many, that's perfectly all right. I'm always up for learning something new.
I've attempted to wrap my mind around this many different ways, tried not to be insulting in my thought process, but each time I come back to WTF?
Why would you need to keep praying and petitioning when the man says he's got this? And from a rational perspective, why would you worry anyway? You can't change things, they are what they are.
These kinds of things make me glad that I don't believe in the irrational. My life is simpler and easier for me because I've got my head firmly planted in reality. I worry about those who don't. :) Nah, not really.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Reason's Greetings and Merry Mythmas!
It's never too early to start talking about this stuff seeing's how our retail establishments are already in full swing.
Our family doesn't celebrate christmas anymore. If your family does, it's cool because everyone has to decide for themselves what it means to celebrate christmas. For us, that went by the wayside when we finally acknowledged that we don't buy into the whole capitalistic slant it's taken on. Our family buys each other gifts whenever we feel the need to give them, not just one day a year. Well, that and we really think spending all that money and time on decorating is ridiculous. Personally, I'd rather see a starving child get what it costs to light up my house. Also, our family doesn't practice any religion that celebrates it for the alleged birth of christ. For that reason, it was extremely hypocritical of us when we did participate in the traditional christmas celebration, so we decided to stop.
As I said, what you do this December 25th and how you celebrate is really your business, not mine. But I do hope that you'll take a moment to reassess why you think it's valuable to put yourself in debt for presents, gift your family for no other reason than 'it's traditional' or why you are even participating with something that has no empirical evidence to even deem it worthy of celebration. After that, if you still think you have legitimate reasons to celebrate, then have the fuck at it and enjoy! But if you don't, keep pondering and hopefully then you'll get to a point where it makes sense for you.
In the meantime, Happy Holidays and enjoy the time off! :)
And to David, who I stole the Reason's Greetings and Merry Mythmas from... I give you full and proper credit for the title! I ♥ the sentiment, man!
Our family doesn't celebrate christmas anymore. If your family does, it's cool because everyone has to decide for themselves what it means to celebrate christmas. For us, that went by the wayside when we finally acknowledged that we don't buy into the whole capitalistic slant it's taken on. Our family buys each other gifts whenever we feel the need to give them, not just one day a year. Well, that and we really think spending all that money and time on decorating is ridiculous. Personally, I'd rather see a starving child get what it costs to light up my house. Also, our family doesn't practice any religion that celebrates it for the alleged birth of christ. For that reason, it was extremely hypocritical of us when we did participate in the traditional christmas celebration, so we decided to stop.
I'm sure there many of my christian readers bristling at the suggestion that I say December 25th is the alleged birth of christ. To that, I would say please check your bible. Show me the evidence that he was born on December 25th, conclusively. You could also go to this handy website and get an education... Christmas - The Real Story. Actually, go one step further and read Nailed: The Ten Christian Myths that show Jesus Never Existed At All. For me, this does such a good job of explaining why celebrating "The reason for the season" is a complete and utter joke; only one more example of why believing this christmas nonsense makes no sense.
As I said, what you do this December 25th and how you celebrate is really your business, not mine. But I do hope that you'll take a moment to reassess why you think it's valuable to put yourself in debt for presents, gift your family for no other reason than 'it's traditional' or why you are even participating with something that has no empirical evidence to even deem it worthy of celebration. After that, if you still think you have legitimate reasons to celebrate, then have the fuck at it and enjoy! But if you don't, keep pondering and hopefully then you'll get to a point where it makes sense for you.
In the meantime, Happy Holidays and enjoy the time off! :)
And to David, who I stole the Reason's Greetings and Merry Mythmas from... I give you full and proper credit for the title! I ♥ the sentiment, man!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
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