Maturity and Wisdom

Being mature means having the ability to honestly reflect on one's behavior, understand the mistakes you have made and empathize with those who were the recipients of your harmful actions.

Wisdom is gained when you take personal responsibility for those mistakes and your ability to not repeat them means your maturity level rises exponentially.

Happy Never Lets Go of You

Just like this picture, my earliest happy memories bring me back to a place of having energy, enthusiasm, a sense of adventure and happiness. This is what I was feeling at about nine or ten years old. I was just beginning to venture outside of my self-discovery and incorporate, consciously, those things that would impact me for years to come. My previous life experiences had left impressions, but this time in my life felt like it was the beginning of who I was to be. I didn't know it then, but my journey of self - stepping out as a fresh new human being and participating wholly in that process -  that is what being happy means to me.

When I'm feeling the pressures of adulthood, I sometimes recall that time period of my life and reflect on it with a twinge of disappointment; why couldn't time just have stood still for me? Life and the things that get thrown at me in my present, make me wish for that time again when 'taking care of responsibilities' isn't in my vocabulary. All I was really responsible for was enjoying every day as it made itself known to me.

For the most part, those youthful days were filled with learning, friendship, playing, laughing, giggling and tons of new discoveries. The occasional sickness or fight with friends came up, but it was still not a deterrent from enjoying what came my way. It seemed that I slid easily into that role of happy back then.

Feeling happiness didn't change for many years. Inevitably, there would be days that just weren't that amazing, but still, happiness or what I thought it was stayed within the realm of my reach. Looking back, I'd have to say that a definite shift occurred around my mid-twenties, making happiness seem elusive at times and sometimes, non-existent. Sadly, there were even extended periods in my thirties and up through my mid-forties when I didn't think I'd ever be happy again. Don't get me wrong, I had fun during those years, but didn't have a feeling of energy, enthusiasm, a sense of adventure or revel in happiness as I did when I was much younger. It seemed like the uphill loop of feeling good wasn't quite sure how to catch the wave and get higher to reach those moments of joy. It stayed flat and felt like life was as good as it was going to get.

I'm now approaching fifty and have to say that I've had an extended period of experiencing happiness since my mid-forties. There have been and are still continual tests that would try to rid me of experiencing those satisfaction producing moments of my current life. Physically, I think hormones play a great deal in how we feel or react to the good and bad in life. But, it certainly doesn't address everything. From my experiences, the differences between now and past moments is partly due to the internal self-discovery that doesn't really happen on a conscious level when you are younger. Now, I'm fairly settled and in a centered place. Before, when I was younger, I was just reacting, doing, surviving, struggling to make sense of everything.

I think the older I get I discover that the things I just spontaneously enjoyed and took for granted - energy, enthusiasm, a sense of adventure - those are things that we don't lose, we just lose a desire for when faced with responsibilities, hardships and realities that are too much to handle. We quite possibly feel that indulging in them would take us away from those things that need addressing at that moment. Probably, the loudest thing resonating in my head was 'You're a grown-up now, it's not about having fun.'

What I've found, though, is that the happiness I feel now is no different than what I experienced as a child. It came back to me, a sort of awakening to it because my life changed again. Responsibilities are ever present, but my focus now is on my own satisfaction in conjunction with my present life. Happiness didn't elude me then because I was diligently focusing my attention on what I wanted to wrap myself in just for the sake of undertaking it. Knowing what it would feel like, what I would learn and how it would fit to me; that is what brought me happiness. I made choices for me, rather than having life determine what choices needed to be made. When my happiness level was at its lowest, I was in the highest state of reaction rather than action.

The happiness I experience now is a welcomed, old familiar feeling. Living life in a fully conscious state of putting one foot in front of the other in the fashion of my choosing has meant everything to me. It gives me all those things from my youth that I thought were missing, but most importantly, I feel happy most of the time even in the face of events that might cause issues for me. I'm back to feeling something that for many years just felt watered-down.

Interestingly, when I was younger I was also much more physically active. One could say that it contributed to the feelings of happiness, but it's different somehow. When I experience the energy, it is a feeling of strength and determination regardless of the physical state. The enthusiasm displays itself not only for wanting to selfishly experience things, but also, I feel an outward enthusiasm that makes me want to bring everyone on board with me. The sense of adventure that I feel is not only from my eyes being open, as before, but because my heart and my mind are now more open, too. I want to engage everyone to be a part of it, to go with me wherever that adventure may take me. This is the key difference, I think, to the level of conscious happiness that I now experience. Being fully focused on what is my next step and having made sure that all the connections I have in this world be a part of that adventure, ensures that I will experience the rest of my life in a state that can't be described in any other way than being happy.

Isn't being happy all we've ever wanted? We just have to remember that it's always waiting to be rediscovered and accepting the fact that we are really the only ones that are in charge of that.

"It Spoke to Me" and I Must Post It

Philippians 4:6-7  New International Version (NIV)

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Tonight I saw a status update on Facebook that I would term "shorthand for jesus-speak." Many times, and I've done this myself, Facebook fans feel the need to post things slightly coded but not really indecipherable. Because I happen to have christians as friends I do get the religious posts occasionally. The most recent 'Phil 4 6-7' was easy enough to figure out. I don't get many, that's perfectly all right. I'm always up for learning something new.

Spoiler alert - I didn't. What I understand is first, don't be anxious. Meaning - god's got this, so no worries. Second, but even if you're paying attention to the first part of not worrying, you should still pray and petition (gratefully) your lord and savior what you're totally not acting worried about. And then it goes on to say itself that it makes absolutely no sense what-so-ever, but then you will feel at peace because you did.

I've attempted to wrap my mind around this many different ways, tried not to be insulting in my thought process, but each time I come back to WTF?

Why would you need to keep praying and petitioning when the man says he's got this? And from a rational perspective, why would you worry anyway? You can't change things, they are what they are.

These kinds of things make me glad that I don't believe in the irrational. My life is simpler and easier for me because I've got my head firmly planted in reality. I worry about those who don't.  :) Nah, not really.

Reason's Greetings and Merry Mythmas!

It's never too early to start talking about this stuff seeing's how our retail establishments are already in full swing.

Our family doesn't celebrate christmas anymore. If your family does, it's cool because everyone has to decide for themselves what it means to celebrate christmas. For us, that went by the wayside when we finally acknowledged that we don't buy into the whole capitalistic slant it's taken on. Our family buys each other gifts whenever we feel the need to give them, not just one day a year. Well, that and we really think spending all that money and time on decorating is ridiculous. Personally, I'd rather see a starving child get what it costs to light up my house. Also, our family doesn't practice any religion that celebrates it for the alleged birth of christ. For that reason, it was extremely hypocritical of us when we did participate in the traditional christmas celebration, so we decided to stop.

I'm sure there many of my christian readers bristling at the suggestion that I say December 25th is the alleged birth of christ. To that, I would say please check your bible. Show me the evidence that he was born on December 25th, conclusively. You could also go to this handy website and get an education... Christmas - The Real Story. Actually, go one step further and read Nailed: The Ten Christian Myths that show Jesus Never Existed At All. For me, this does such a good job of explaining why celebrating "The reason for the season" is a complete and utter joke; only one more example of why believing this christmas nonsense makes no sense.

As I said, what you do this December 25th and how you celebrate is really your business, not mine. But I do hope that you'll take a moment to reassess why you think it's valuable to put yourself in debt for presents, gift your family for no other reason than 'it's traditional' or why you are even participating with something that has no empirical evidence to even deem it worthy of celebration. After that, if you still think you have legitimate reasons to celebrate, then have the fuck at it and enjoy! But if you don't, keep pondering and hopefully then you'll get to a point where it makes sense for you.

In the meantime, Happy Holidays and enjoy the time off! :)

And to David, who I stole the Reason's Greetings and Merry Mythmas from...  I give you full and proper credit for the title! I ♥ the sentiment, man!

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Agonizing Over Fear

In this moment, you are safe if you choose to believe it. Look around you, are you in imminent physical danger either because of another person, a natural disaster or a potentially risky and life-threatening job responsibility? No, then you are safe. Is there someone verbally assaulting you, reprimanding you or in any way accosting your sensibilities? No, then you are safe. Does the fact that you want to go beyond your comfort zone to experience something new and different produce a horrifying outcome in your mind? Is the likelihood of any of those things happening a by product of your day should you engage in them? Possibly, but not likely unless you or something coincidentally sets into motion that disastrous thing which you think is about to happen. Your fear is about giving credence to the possibility of something bad happening.

So, reasonably speaking, why are you succumbing to fear when logically the possibility of anything bad happening to you probably won't? My experience has taught me that the majority of the time it's the fear of the unknown. Somewhere along the line, someone has helped you to believe that the unknown is worth being frightened about. The more fear you feel the deeply you believed that message. And the more you've allowed your brain to repeatedly lay down the tracks of that self-destructive message making it harder to shake the fear when it raises its ugly head.

I don't want to imply that all fear and anxiety is not warranted or even exactly as I have described it above. Certainly situations that are dangerous and life threatening are worthy of feeling a healthy dose of fear. In addition, physical illnesses and chemical imbalances occurring in your brain can also produce the sensation of fear with absolutely nothing being contributed by you or your external environment.

Anxiety disorders, panic attacks, nervousness... these are all different ways of describing the physical condition that can be experienced when in the throes of that feeling that seems to want to push you over the edge with fear. Having an anxiety disorder is a real condition, one that I was afflicted with for many years finding absolutely no relief from but came to understand that there were many ways to gain control through medication and/or cognitive behavioral therapy. Medication, even though beneficial, was not what had the most impact on me. The biggest reasons I was able to achieve my current some what stable frame of mind in reference to fear and anxiety was learning and understanding how to cope, control and discover why I felt anxiety about certain situations. Luckily and through many hard years, I've found answers for myself and about myself that have helped me to keep the fear and the anxiety far away from determining what kind of life I wanted to experience. The situations I'd like to touch on are not about fear that is being experienced due to a medical condition and as such, would caution that if you are dealing with that type of anxiety, please understand this piece is not meant to diagnose or prescribe how you should deal with it. The situations I describe are my own personal conclusions that I have come to about some forms of fear.

There are two sides to everything, fear being no exception. Utilizing fear as a precaution gives one a feeling of commanding one's surrounding, but when you are immobilized in our own being due to an exaggeration of that precaution, then it has slipped into the negative arena that just holds you hostage, emotionally and sometimes physically. The chemical interactions go hay wire and you allow yourself to be dragged down a path of anxiousness that seems to offer no hope of escape.

Having the ability to fear something realistically imminent is not a problem, but when you have a baseless fear, that is something that is troublesome. Again, it could be because of something that is beyond your control chemically but in the case where it is unwarranted and only created because you have a fear of the unknown, then I think it might be time for you to stop what you are allowing yourself to feed into and truly, really examine what you are doing in support of that fear. The fear is keeping you from engaging with reality and it is allowing you to be less than what you are capable of achieving next. Don't go that route because it keeps you from going in the direction of being the best possible you that you can be. Cliche sounding, but true.

Fearing something just because it is unknown doesn't help you achieve what you yearn for nor does it help you fulfill what you could potentially be capable of, it only serves to keep you at a level of mediocrity. If that is all you are satisfied with, then cool - you have arrived. However, if mediocre is not how you want to define yourself then you have to realistically understand that continuing to fear the unknown and not striving to get past that fear means you are settling for mediocrity. You will remain stuck where you are and watch (from the sidelines) what you could potentially be in the thick of, get further and further out of your reach.

If you want more than what you see for yourself now, don't agonize about your fear. Take a good hard look at it and push through that mask of what is scaring the bejeezus out of you and knock it down. Get to the other side of what you are afraid of and claim victory over what has held you back before. Grab on and hold on, keep moving in the direction of what you know makes you happy and satisfied. Discovering that having courage is more rewarding than allowing fear to dictate what your life experiences should be; truly living your potential is what it's all about. Fear should only be a reaction to things you encounter that could be potentially damaging or dangerous. It shouldn't be your response to how you live your life or a reaction to opportunities that present themselves to you.

So don't hesitate. Put one foot in front of the other and let the unknown be a challenge that you want to meet head on. No more agony, only facing what stands between you and your achievements. Let the rewards that come with them be your satisfaction.

Religionized Democracy: Current State of Affairs

Can we truly be a Democratic society if we run our country based on religious concepts and not a country based on the idea 

of separation of church and state?

Dictionary.com would define democracy as a type of government that is run by the people and one in which people are the supreme power; power would be exercised by them or their elected agents under a free electoral system. As it is a government of the people, it would follow that it would be invested in the success of all the people. However, democracies are generally of the opinion that majority rules and it does not guarantee that people will have an equal say or favorable outcome in those decisions that affect their lives. The United States is a representative Republic and as such, attempts to protect the voices of the minority. It operates within many of the essences of a democracy, thereby cherry picking the best of both forms in its current state of being.

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

The first amendment clearly gives the citizenry of the United States the right to practice or believe whatever they choose, but it also clearly tells them that the government shall not give favor to one religion over another or permit any faction of religion to be a ruling force in our government or in the nation within the context of that freedom. The government takes a neutral or secular stance in all levels of government on the issue of religion. Rather, it should take that position, but, too often, we are seeing that is not the case within the framework of our current government and, in particular, the election process.

The United States citizenry is made up of all different cultures, ethnicities and having a wide variety of religious affiliations. Pew Forum's U.S. ReligiousLandscape Survey, which draws primarily on a nationwide survey conducted from May 8 to Aug. 13, 2007, finds the largest majority (83%) of our citizens identify as religious; 78.4% considering themselves as being Christians. The remaining 17% minority claims to either not believe in or identify with a particular religion or didn’t know their religious status. While a majority of the citizens claiming a religious affiliation are not the issue, the assumption by that majority that religion should play a large part in government is the problem.

Religion and politics should remain separate, but one only needs to look to the current crop of Republican contenders for the presidency of 2012, who wear their religious identification on their sleeves, and listen to their speeches - one can see that is not what is happening in the United States right now. The Democrats are just as guilty of using religion at every opportunity as a means to getting elected. When either party gives a speech peppered with religiosity and ends with “God Bless America” they are pandering to the base that will see to it they are elected. We watch as religion is being employed as the driving force behind using our citizens to bypass what our Founding Fathers had originally intended. The fact that they use their religion to attain a seat in any position of government reflects how this country’s original dialog and the basis of our freedoms are not being upheld in today’s society. Politicians have the right to a religious belief of their choosing, but they also have the obligation when seeking public office to act as proxy to all of their constituents by respecting the constitution in that election process.

Article 6 of the Constitution states: "No religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States." After the 14th Amendment to the Constitution was proclaimed on July 21, 1868, its Article 6 became binding on individual states. The religious requirement clauses in state constitutions became null and void. The 14th Amendment stated:  "No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States." Yet, there are still some state clauses that proclaim that if a person doesn’t have faith in a god he or she would not be eligible to run for office. Some of the states still using a religious test include: Arkansas, Maryland, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee & Texas. In Pennsylvania, the statute reads: Pennsylvania, Article I, Section 4: No person who acknowledges the being of a God and a future state of rewards and punishments shall, on account of his religious sentiments, be disqualified to hold any office or place of trust or profit under this Commonwealth. This doesn’t say that a person claiming no religious affiliation could be disqualified, but rather, that believers can’t be disqualified. The fact that this language is even present in any laws, specifically as there is no religious test for office, is a testament to the unwillingness of religious forces to remove religion from our politics and keep the original secular intent in place.

In recent and past history, many political figures have, in fact, come out publicly, that religion should play an important part in our politics in spite of the illegality of demanding it as a requirement to hold office. On March 27, 2011, Newt Gingrich, in a speech at Cornerstone Church in San Antonio, TX, said “I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the nature of America, by the time they're my age they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists and with no understanding of what it once meant to be an American." The implication being that we should only be a Christian nation and not one of mixture and variety of faiths or non-faiths.

On August 27, 1987 in Chicago, IL, George Bush said the following to Robert I. Sherman, a reporter for the American Atheist news journal: Bush: No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God. Sherman (somewhat taken aback): Do you support as a sound constitutional principle the separation of state and church? Bush: Yes, I support the separation of church and state. I'm just not very high on atheists. In his demonization of atheists, his statements conflict with the idea that he supports a separation of church and state and, in the process, denigrates a segment of the population.

Pat Buchanan attempted to run for President in 1992, 1996 and 2000, but was also not successful in his bid. Nevertheless, Buchanan injects his faith into discussions where he can. One example, while speaking before the Christian Coalition in 1993, he said “Our culture is superior. Our culture is superior because our religion is Christianity and that is the truth that makes men free.”  He continued his rhetoric out on the campaign trail while speaking at an anti-gay rally in Des Moines, IA on February 11, 1996. “We're going to bring back God and the Bible and drive the gods of secular humanism right out of the public schools of America.” This type of campaigning, where it is perfectly acceptable to use one’s ideology in getting elected to a political office, goes completely against what our constitution stands for.

The fact that the 78.4% of our country is made up of Christians is not lost on politicians. They capitalize on seeming to be one of the faithful and show disdain for those who do not share their faith. The citizens who are hearing these statements and identify with the sentiments will ultimately, with their vote, support the point of view of that politician. Those campaigning are attempting to influence the majority in this country using their religion and ignoring what was intended in the founding of our country.

This country was established with a secular government in mind; ensuring that the rights of all were to be recognized. However, our society, although democratic in nature, is not upholding the democratic ideal of the separation of church and state if it allows campaigns to run under the pretense that religion is allowed to infiltrate the process. When we allow religious overtones to permeate campaign rhetoric and also let the religious influences dictate how affairs are conducted in governmental offices, this country is no longer based on the idea of separation of church and state.

The United States considers itself a democracy and the virtue of its society characterized by a formal equality of rights and privileges. If those rights and privileges of the non-religious and/or other religions are being denied in favor of Christianity only, we do not have a democracy guaranteeing a government for or by the people; and the ideal of a representative republic, in which minority rights are protected from the tyranny of the majority, is a complete fiction.

Also published at Atheism Resource

To Hitch

  

Seeing just a sampling of those Hitch has inspired in his lifetime and being a witness to his public struggles with this disease makes me ache with compassion for him. Death, although escaping it not being an option, the shock of knowing it will happen to someone who has influenced so many, still touches a place deep within and brings forth tears that flow freely with that thought.

Here's my 'Raise Your Glass' homage to Hitch...

It is inevitable that we must all die and I can accept that. Yours may come sooner than you certainly have thought and something, I hadn’t expected to happen for a long time. Here’s hoping that it is later rather than sooner and that your suffering will not be more than you have already had to endure.

I’m sure that I will not be saying anything new or something you haven’t heard before but, before you go, I wanted you to know how deeply your thoughts have touched me and how well you articulated the words that have inspired me. Reading them in your books, hearing them in your speeches, debates and interviews connected to my own thoughts on a very deep level. These things have helped me to remain firm in my resolve to openly speak out with confidence and passion, as I have been witness to seeing you do many times. Being on the receiving end of all you have shared has been a positive experience for me and for that I thank you. You have had a powerful influence on my life and helped to guide it with great honesty.

Even when you are no longer with us, you will continue to help shape the minds of those who will, in turn, give voice to the next in line. For that, I thank you, too.

I’m not part of your inner circle, I know, but I hope these words can still convey the depth of my compassion and gratitude I have always had and that it can give some comfort during this more than crappy time in your life.

As always, my wish and hope for you is that the end to your life will be a far away event, but if that is not to be, then I just wanted to let you know just how immensely impactful you have been to me.

Thank you for being you and sharing the best of you with me, with us.

To you, Hitch. Take care, much love... always.

Indoctrination vs. Learning

If you look at things from a perspective of being afraid of it, you will tend to believe whatever you are taught about it, but if you come at anything from a place of being curious, you will tend to just seek understanding and knowledge.

Three Levels of Being

To survive as one individual human, I need....

Clean water
Clean air
Good health
Shelter
Food that won't kill me

If we are humane, then I believe that all human beings are entitled access to these things in order to have a good quality of life. They should be available and affordable because being civilized means we act like this is not a world where the mentality is 'kill or be killed'. Having these needs met creates the level playing field for the things that...

As a person, I want...

But maybe can't afford.

These would be things that enhance the basics and make them more enjoyable than they already are, but aren't necessarily needed. Extra effort, creativity, making sacrifices - that will get me to being able to have what I want and if I desire extravaganza or luxurious...

Bonuses in addition to my needs and wants, well...

these will require going above and beyond what it takes to having my needs and wants met. They will be rewards for being absolutely extraordinary in the face of adversity and roadblocks. They are what is at the end of the rainbow after never faltering, never wavering and are gotten by doing unconventional and inspirational things. In other words, doing possibly the hardest work I've ever done to get that bonus. There are no guarantees that I'll ever get it because hard work doesn't always translate into rewards, but it sure will be worth the effort when it is achieved.

When I have my needs met, I feel safe. When I get what I want, I feel proud of my abilities and when bonuses are realized, it makes me feel that all the hard work and struggle has been worth it.

It all starts with feeling safe. That is what we are all entitled to in this world.

No More Doom and Gloom

via Ray Garton

On December 21, 2012, we can expect yet another 'non-event'. To us rational thinking people, it's called Friday. A day that we anticipate at the end of a long week at work and look forward to enjoying it with family or friends. Most of us won't have to work the next day, so for us "Let the weekend begin!"

For others, it is the next official guess on the books that this world will come to an end. Yes, you heard right - we are to experience yet another "End of the World" scenario. Three in a year and a half, it's just really getting ridiculous. I know you are just sitting there and shaking your head like I am at the stupidity of this, but there are people actually speculating that the world will come to an end on December 21, 2012.

*sigh

It really is just too stupid for words anymore. I've got better things to write about.

We're Still Here

It is now exactly the end of October 21, 2011 in my time zone and guess what?!?!?! We're ALL STILL HERE!

Deviant Art

I'm sure this came as a big bag of disappointment to some people. End of the world as we know it or  the mass evacuation of good souls all over the world... it just didn't happen... again. DUH!!! Of course it didn't happen. Rational and reasonable people knew that, as well as the smug-smile-on-their-face christians who quoted Mark 13:32; no one will ever know the exact date of the end of the earth. It may come one of these days, but my guess, unless someone pushes the big red button and releases launch codes of all the nuclear missiles... it's not going to happen for a very long time.

The Rapture

Silly people, rapture is for con artists who want to take advantage of you because you have 'blind faith'. They know how gullible you are and understand you weren't taught to think for yourselves. I do hope that you've learned a valuable lesson and that it will kick-start your brain into functioning as it was intended to. But if it doesn't and you continue to just fall for crap like this, please understand that there are potentially serious consequences for not using logic and reason in your thinking.

That also goes for those people who think that Harold Campings' only mistake was in assuming that he could predict the eventual rapture you think IS coming. Being rational, questioning things that don't make sense, understanding the real world and admitting that you don't have all the answers is a lot more honest and real than believing in a supernatural being for which there is absolutely no proof for beyond the indoctrination you received, the blind faith you accept whilst parking your thinking skills to the curb, the fear of retribution you think you'll receive for not being a good little follower or the salvation you dream of experiencing at the end of your days. Being rational, using logic and reason; those things are not evil, they are highly recommended in this thing we call reality.

Pain

Pain experienced is only as great as the perception of it and concentration on it. When felt, it is greater than the distraction you can create.

Instinct Takes Over

From Poems & Quotes

Many people think that forgiveness and acceptance go hand-in-hand when, in personal relationships, that bond is damaged or torn apart. My own personal sense of justice tells me that is impossible when you are dealing with the aftermath of hateful, cruel, inappropriate behavior or anything that would present itself to you in a fashion that you personally would find hurtful.

Having encountered many instances where people cross boundaries and whether it was friends, family or business associates, once they have done something that negates a supposed respectful relationship, acceptance becomes a less attainable thing. The only thing that anybody really wants from that point on is distance between oneself and the intruder on our sensibilities.

Can the person who perpetrates the injustice ever gain your acceptance again? Possibly, but that requires effort and a willingness from the person who has wronged you. It requires honesty and a commitment to understand the thing that he/she has done in the commission of that hurt. And it requires a sense of remorse and a commitment from them to never allow it to happen again. All those things, done over and over again, until that time when you can feel acceptance of that person as a natural state of being.

Call me a pessimist, but the likelihood of that happening for people like me... rare. Even though I try to hope for positive in all things, having a strong sense of what I'm entitled to as a person and as a realist about life in general, I have a tendency towards self-preservation and once wronged, will generally do what it takes to never have the offense or anything closely related to it, occur again.

It's hard for me to understand people, women specifically, who will remain with someone who beats the crap out of them; suffering unspeakable horrors at the hands of someone they love. It seems, with the act of remaining, they give their acquiesence to the violence they endure and to a degree, forgive and accept the monsters they live with. The one who beats them and the one inside of them that allows it. They don't seem to have that will to live the life they are deserving of or in many cases, not conscious of even being entitled to a better life, until it's almost too late.

The self-preservation I mentioned, this is what keeps me moving forward against not only the incidents of personal assaults, but also the harshness of life that we all encounter. This is my strength, my reality and what keeps me sane. It's also my joy, my happiness and what makes me want to stay in the game.

Bridges of Madison County Revisited starring Christopher Hitchens

Image from ReverseShot

The look on her face is exactly how I felt upon awakening.  The movie referenced  above immediately came to mind because of the dream I experienced. Me and Christopher Hitchens torn between doing the right thing or indulging in the fantasy of our togetherness. Deep sigh....

Before all those mind-in-the-gutter people start snickering, this dream was not sexual at all, but it had the potential. What was thrilling was the possibility of sharing space with a brilliant mind, the kind that Hitch possesses. The logic he uses, the passion with which he can translate that logic into words and the sheer brilliance of his argument(s).... oh! need I go on? Of course, I do... In addition to that, the many well-written articles and books that he has shared with us in his lifetime; those all contribute to one hunk of a man! To be a partner to that - wow, that would certainly give me a 'Bridges of Madison County' like dilemma, but don't worry, I wouldn't want to give up my current relationship. Hmmm... Maybe Hitch would indulge me anyway?

There I've said it, I'm attracted to intelligence. Do not fear, my current partner understands my feelings as he is one of those intelligent people. He has seen me swoon over other brilliant minds. He doesn't get the attraction because it is not always a physical attraction, initially. But brilliance is sexy to me! It is not what they look like, it is their intense grasp and understanding of things and their ability to teach; that is what gets my pulse racing. It is not that they are more special than my love, who himself has many pulse racing attributes, but they have the ability to tap into a region of my left brain that happens to light up the animal side of the right. People who can think, reason, understand reality & logic; yes, they are sexy and the packages they inhabit, don't matter.

Now, excuse while I go back to my dream...

Sometimes it's just too much to take...

AARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

I absolutely can't stand it when irrationality is substituted for reason.

One discussion after another and it always comes back to the same thing. Faith. Suspending rational thought for believing in something that just doesn't make any sense. But THAT is called the truth! And that is when the frustration sets in.

I have a hard time speaking to people when I come at a debate or discussion about anything regarding religion from a place of logic only to have the person I'm debating with just settle the discussion with "Well, I have faith." A more honest proclamation would be "Yeah, I know it makes absolutely no sense based on how the real world works, but I choose to believe something irrational." I would still be frustrated but at least that which does not make sense is promptly put on the table as being unreasonable.

Faith, in reality, is nothing special except for what religious cults have made it. This thing, that all knowing in my heart kind of feeling, is a substitute for accepting the reality of the real world. That's it, nothing more. And this is what is frustrating. It just doesn't make any sense to have faith in something with no evidence. Why would people choose to dump their intellect for the sake of being able to say they have faith there is a god? It's IRRATIONAL!

Mostly I can just shake my head and move on, but some nights, like tonight, reading one story after another about the state of people's minds in relation to the real world and how faith plays a part in it... well, you know... my head sort of explodes.

Hearing stories about natural disasters being god's wrath - you know he ACTUALLY had a hand in bitch slapping us because the atheists and gay people in this country are to blame! Never mind that there were perfectly innocent people suffering this wrath at the same time. Did you hear about someones brother who was miraculously pulled from a burning car, then spends two months in a coma, but yet god is the one who 'saved him'? Naturally, everyone completely disregards all the medical intervention that went into bringing him back to the land of the living. How about where children who die at the hands of their parents because child abuse somehow just says "I love you" the best?

I shake my head, my blood pressure rises and all because somewhere someone is saying "Just have faith, it's all in god's plan." All of it - it is ALL totally irrational thinking... and it does not compute.

This is the reason for AARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Thank you for letting me vent. 

DO NOT DONATE TO AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY!!

Gotta love Facebook to spread the injustice around pretty quickly. After having read Greta Christina's take on the American Cancer Society's big charity foo pah, it moved me to add my own two cents.

Greta's piece clearly states that The American Cancer Society did not openly come out and say that they were rejecting the money because it came from the atheist organization, Foundation Beyond Belief. However, in doing so it goes against what should be a charity organization's function. The American Cancer Society is in the business of adding to their coffers in order to bankroll research, so it seems terribly odd that they wouldn't take it. And really, what other reason than differing ideology is there? My guess is they knew exactly how wrong it would be to openly take a stand on what they thought about an atheist organization. Coming out honestly on the subject would have really left a bad taste in the mouths of those who would then take their donations elsewhere. Hem and haw and doing the dance of avoiding coming clean... yeah, much better plan.

Well, now it's out and surprise, surprise... it's leaving a bad taste in the mouths of those who previously donated and predictably, it casts a doubt on future donations. People are going to choose other ways to donate their money because discrimination doesn't sit well with them. If you are one of those, please... Let me help you with that.

Charity Navigator 

America's premiere independent charity evaluator, works to advance a more efficient and responsive philanthropic marketplace by evaluating the Financial Health and Accountability and Transparency of America's largest charities. 

 

The American Cancer Society doesn't fare too badly when it comes to how they run the organization, BUT let me point out a few things.

In comparing the other organizations that deal with financing research for cancer, the ACS scores the LOWEST!  And take a look at what a CEO at ACS makes. Do you think that's a bit out of line considering this is supposed to be a charitable organization? You know, one that is compassionate to a cause? I thought caring equated with doing everything that you could for that cause, maybe including not withholding valuable research dollars in order to pay a guy's salary?!?! I'd say that's taking too big of a cut, MR. CEO!

Many have already voiced their displeasure on the American Cancer Society's Facebook page and have publicly said they would take their donation dollars elsewhere. Please stand with those people and do the same. Go check out the other organizations below and find one that is right for you. Charity should be about giving freely, without hesitation and with love and compassion as the core reason for doing so. Not accepting charity because of someone's ideology is smacking that love and compassion in the face.

Do not turn the other cheek. Please.

Charity Name	Overall Score	Overall Rating
American Cancer Society - GA	53.85
National Comprehensive Cancer Network - PA	60.67
National Cancer Coalition - NC	64.13
CancerCare - NY	60.55
The V Foundation - NC	64.25

 

Leadership      (FYE 08/2009)

Name	Title	Compensation
John Seffrin	CEO	$914,906

Other Salaries of Note
William Barram	National VP of Divisional Services, Retired	$1,550,705
Donald Thomas	Deputy CEO, Retired	$1,407,719